I’m down Ferry Meadows, having CBD. My coil is burnt and I forgot to replace it, so I’m having to be careful. It’s kinda like the same hit as having a cup of coffee, not strong at all. It still made me well para, at Bowling on Mon, tho.
There’s a lot going on w|i me rn. Idk why I feel worthless, I haven’t judged anyone all day. I guess there’s like this feeling of worthlessness underneath everything; and I feel it’s caused by my brain’s gene expression.
I feel the brain makes a transition to less Neurones, in the twenties. I feel it can go further than that in mental illness, making other genetic changes, genes being turned on and off.
It kinda makes me wonder about the CaAKG. It is turning all my genes back on. I’m wondering if it w right all those changes. It’s rly quite fascinating.
I’m having an anxiety attack, I feel like Ima die. This happened to me when I w at Pétanque. It didn’t last long tho. It’s kinda scary bc panic attacks can actually cause death.
I feel that the CaAKG will boost my ability to turn on my Yamanaka genes, and that all the hedgehog stimulating supplements that I take, w also do the same. Ima rly accept all the help Ima get.
It’s on my vision board now; that I want to fully enter kid consciousness. Ik that the drugs I’m taking w prevent me from feeling that, they cover up feelings. I guess there is no way that Ima be in that zone, until I have fully come off them; kinda disappointing. Tho the elation that comes from feeling that it is there, waiting for me, just feels amazing.
Ik it w be hella work tho. My morning judgies w have to stop. And it w take hella time.
I judge in the morning. The draw to feel that consciousness, is just motivating me to stop all that. The desire to embody that, just is so strong that it’s easy to say Ima not judge; and it’s a pretty small sacrifice.
The only thing that rly challenges me, is feeling that people are persecuting me. I feel that some people are so nervous, or judgemental around me that I have an anxiety attack. It feels like Ima not go anywhere w|o this being a risk, it’s exhausting.
I think back to when I used to have that tick, of yanking my hand up to my face, and I realise that if I don’t forgive them, I w get no further, on my spiritual journey.
I’m just figuring out if Ima get any bread. I feel it w be too heavy.
I’ve been rly stressed lately, w feeling that people being a threat to me. That’s w I deem to be persecution, rly being terrified like that.
Like I say tho, it helped. I w in town and I actually felt like I w in town, like when I used to go when I w a kid. It’s like, being there, is as treat, in and of itself.
There were no feelings that it w a sketch place, that w usually cover up my ability to feel that; and that’s when I realised that judgement had dulled me to feeling real reality. It all changed for me, and my quest to reverse my age, became more real.
I realised that when Ima feel that, my DNA will have to change. There’s no possibility of being one hundo in kid reality and not turning on my hedgehog pathway; and the hedgehog pathway turns on the Yamanaka genes.
I have to say that Idk whether I w make it to see it. These feelings that Ima die, c point to something actually being wrong. I hope so tho.
I w thinking that I am fighting for the honour of all the prophets that have gone before. J talks of the tombs that are filled w them and how the ancestors of those who killed them are unclean. This is much bigger than me.
Up till now I w concentrating on me. I had no thought to the wider implications of w I am doing here. Now it seems like one hell of a responsibility and that I am no longer doing it for me.
To Goals Becoming More Real
K
Miss K 