I’m down Ferry Meadows, having CBD.
Feeling that my eyes are widening. The structure of the face, is down to the structure of the mind, in part, I don’t like to say brain. In the female mind, the messages travel more from side to side than front to back, like they do in men.
I feel the only way to handle w people are saying, is to be hot. I feel myself getting hotter, that is w this persecution is doing for me; and every time I use that word, I decline to say that it is malevolent. I am not judging it. Ima not offend anyone, who isn’t doing anything.
I lost it yesterday; there w micro aggression. I went back and explained that I felt like everyone w insulting me, and that I just lost it. He said, that’s okay.
I feel different, after all this persecution. I honestly feel that this is w is referred to as persecution, in the bible, in that passage in Luke, where J says leap for joy for great is your reward in heaven, for that is how they treated the prophets.
I’m getting off track here. It has changed me, it has made me hotter. I look forward to becoming smokin’. It’s not really the physical attractiveness that I’m after, it’s how my mind w work, then. I need to feel like a hot person, not be attractive like one; tho I won’t turn it down.
That pretty much sums up the whole deal; that it is beneficial for me, to me. That’s where I’m at; that I just feel that there is sufficient benefit to this, and therefore I want it. But like, hotness.. isn’t that superficial. It kinda has been feeling that way to me, for a while.
Like, I’m trying to come up w something, that w make me leap for joy. This is the same, for when I w back in total agony every day. Had I seen the future, as it is now, I would have leapt for joy. I just think it’s so tragic that I can’t see it now; and Ik that the reason Ima not see it, is bc, I didn’t have the consciousness to be able to hold this feeling.
Okay, so let’s do it another way. What w I ask for. I w just ask for to not be bothered by w people say; and Ik that w come. I want to have the consciousness that I had when I w a kid. Idek how to explain how that w so good; just good feelings that came along. I’ve used the word utopian, and that definitely w the vibe. I’d be in certain places and feel amazing.
To me is w always places and not people. I suppose I missed feeling that way about them; super weird; tho, even the vibe I had, w better than it is now; it w be better to have those feelings on top of w I have now. Just keep collecting those vibes, and adding it to the stack.
In Other News
I wrote to Facebook. I hope they get back to me, tho I feel it is Meta Pay Support, that I should be looking in, for my responses to the help I asked for; Naah. C this be the rly the last piece of the puzzle, I put in place. I’ve said that so many time already in this journey that I’ve lost count.
So, sod’s law would have it that this time it actually does. I can’t actually remember what sod’s law is, and I’m laughing.
This guy said to me, shout out, you’re cute, w w nice. It’s rly great how people just love on me, I feel bad that I snatched my thingy off that guy. Omg, my mood just turned mega depressing, I’ll have to do something about that.
I think that it’s the vibes of yesterday. I felt like they were trying to torture the f out of me, until I snapped. Oh, it’s darker than that. It w like, they were trying to take all the self esteem I had, off of me, all of it, leaving me feeling like actually the worst wretch of a human being in my town, utterly worthless. That doesn’t even begin to cover it actually. It w definitely a question of just terror, at their motive.
To Hotness
K
Miss K 