I’ve had a wild ride, the last couple of days, w psychosis. It’s w terrifying; feeling like everyone w evil, and wanted to kill me.
I kept it together, by just not judging them, like this is how evil they are, and that’s okay. I felt I w getting threats, everywhere I went. I even left my pétanque group, bc of feeling scared for my life. I hope Ima be okay now. It feels like my brain chemistry has righted itself.
I feel that I w temporarily narcissistic; where I felt that everyone w a pathological narcissist. I w projecting my own narcissism onto them. I feel like Ima be sick.
This reducing medication malarkey, is no joke. I’m scared for the reduction of the last dose. I w so scared. I never wanna feel that way again.
I am thinking about getting the dollblush membership; and the shanny one, and the angeliclofi one.
I’m so relieved that I’m okay now.
The voices switched, a long time ago, to hearing things people were saying, that they were not saying. That’s hard for me to tell if I’m hallucinating, it’s a rl challenge.
Please, Sharon, if you’re reading this, c you let Ian and Pat k that I’m okay, they must be worried sick. I have sent an email tho.
I’m crying. It’s hard for me to cry w emotionally unstable personality disorder, tho that’s w I’m doing.
That w explain, why I felt that they were all insulting me at the group on Wed.
I feel safe now.
Tbh, I can’t have a job, while I am reducing this medication. It makes the situation totally impossible. I’ll have to tell my boss.
I’m so scared that I can hear things that aren’t real. It puts like a layer of uncertainty on things that just make me feel uneasy. Just to stress, I don’t feel I’m hallucinating anymore.
Relapses are no joke, even if only for the terror that they fill me w. It w so frightening.
I think this is good tho. I don’t think Ima have any more problems w the medication on this dose. I feel I should pretty much be okay now.
Ima still remember how I felt, and it’s rly disturbing.
Everything w have to wait, until I am better; going through Insta Help, trying to find blocked payment method.
It’s disappointing that it’s the right time of year to be finding work. I might miss the boat. My health is more important tho.
My psychiatrist thinks that I w come off it no problem, tho I am not so sure. Idk if coming off it completely w be something that Ima handle. It’s best rly to not think about it.
The scary thing is is that I c feel that everyone is evil and that they don’t want to help me.
At least Ima start writing my blog again. It means so much to me, to be able to write for people. It is the highlight of my day.
It’s nice to feel that Ima get on w my life again. There are so many things that I want to do. W be kinda funny if my ad campaign hit, before I got work; probably still w wanna work tho. I can’t even think about leaving the groups. I’m getting on well w the people now. It actually feels like I have friends. I’m crying again. I’ve felt so alone all my life since losing them when I w a kid.
To Recovery
K
Miss K 