I’m at home, passing on the CBD today.
G, I freaked out on Sat; bad. I’ve spoken to support tho. He says, well I guess we think that it w psychological dependence.
I’m okay atm, I w okay yesterday. Ima just put it behind me. Like I say tho, I’m a bit scared to have CBD.
Bowling w great, I w doing so well, tho I went to pieces at the end. There w no issue w how I left pétanque. I w making an effort to not be rude in even the tiniest way, and that must have came across.
The business, so what. Ima just have some me time, y’all. G k I need it rn; just chill the f out and relax for a bit; even see my man, and talk about employment; tho, like I say that’s for some other time.
My ads are fire tho I feel. This break gave me the chance to work on them a bit more, chiseling in on the emotional aspect.
It w just a chance seeing of this guy, I feel trying to get a grand off people w his nail emotional selling course. I felt it worked and I’ve looked it up. It just sounded good to me; that’s the problem w these courses, they do. I feel I have a knack for it tho.
Tbh, it w psychological triggers, used in ads; tho Ima use emotional, that’s my thing, personally.
It’s been a hell of a rollercoaster ride, this last week. I feel I’ve finally settled down. I think that chat w support just nailed it. I don’t care to understand psychological dependence, I’m not as much of a boff anymore, tho I just accept it, it’s easier. My poor brain won’t do well w all that.
I’ll be in bed soon. I think I w up at midnight.
I’ve just gotta get tomato soup in, for if my guy calls me up; I’ve got everything else. G k, I won’t feel like shopping after work.
Things are going slow af. Idk why they are taking so long; Idc. It w so lucky that I wasn’t at work during all this; and I must make sure that I’m not working, when I lower the dosage to nil. Yk it makes me feel silly being dependent on it, yk, like Ima not even control my own mind, or something.
This w be good tho, bc the work w only be til after Christmas, anyway. I’ll get a taste of it, see if it works, see if Ima do it; and just hopefully be another thing that I’ve nailed; continue to part time work, hopefully same hours as permitted work, make a ton, and just get on w my life.
Feels so good to be moving forward w things. Being totally off medication is my thing, and the only reason I need it is bc I’m psychologically dependent, like I say. There w be no issue w that, unless my tiny brain can’t handle it; again; w is probably what’s gonna happen, tho I’ll survive.
Just bop around from here on out, doing my sh.
I think my blog’s gonna suffer tho. I’ll only be able to do one entry a day. Tbh, it’s a lot of work, it takes time to get my feelings out. There’s just no editing like YouTube videos.
I’m off to the dentist tomorrow; and then my visit from the girl who helps me tidy up, shopping and knit and natter In between.
That talk w support rly did help, I feel totally relaxed rn.
There w all this bull sh going round in my head as well, that’s stopped.
Just boring old life now. The clubs get better tho, as I feel emotionally closer to the people. I’m still healing from abuse, I feel; so I experience these little improvements in my emotionally unstable personality disorder, in how I relate to people, and it is such a joy; just looking for more of that, it feels so good.
To Normality
K
Miss K 