Hey

I’m at home, I had CBD earlier

So I’ve decided, to go full tilt on w I’m wearing on Wed.  They want to look at my style, bc I’m allowed to add my own flair onto what they would want me to work in.  So Ima show them me, and get any ideas on w they think.

The trick rly is not worrying about it.  I feel that’s how ninety nine percent of people flunk the interview, bc they are full of all preconceived worries that they are looking out for during the interview.

It stop them from just shooting the breeze and focussing on each other.  I don’t want to be somewhere else at the most important time for me to be present.  I feel that’s the key rly, just presence.

It’s a commitment to control the thoughts I’m having all the time, up till Wednesday and beyond.  A lot of effort w be required for that.  It w pay off, tho w my life getting so much better that it w have been worth it.

I decided that thought w just no bueno.  At first Ik that all the sh going round in my head w just useless, there w no value to it.  I couldn’t put it to use w anything, totally redundant.

That’s all these worries about the job interview w be, just useless garbage, that pragmatically can’t be used for anything of value.

In Other News

I feel that I am like close, to that zone of being full of Neurons.  I don’t rly feel that Ima cram much more in my head.

The reason I say this, is that I’m finding myself able to handle triggers much better now.  They don’t f me up nearly as much.  My reality must be close to kid reality.

Now it’s just a case of taking the sh that people say, and feeling a little messed up and just saying that’s okay, it’s not for long now.  I don’t rly see myself struggling for much longer.

You’d think I’d be more excited about it than this.  It’s just normal reality, nothing special.

It’s weird bc kids dk how their reality beats adult reality, I feel.  They dk that.. I feel that they won’t accept that they will be in adult reality, maybe they won’t.  How can you tell someone something like that.

I kinda wanna warn them yk, that they w be just as messed up as their parents, facts, maybe; and that J’s commandments w save them from that, I feel.

I guess it’s some kind of major mission of mine or something.  I’m not like bending myself out of shape over it.  Maybe if I just carry on down this road, Ima tell them that it works.  Maybe they’ll see in me, that it works.

I mean, does a kid wanna be an adult.  I didn’t wanna.  I felt that my parents had lost it.

W The Business

I have a smashing image.  I made it this morning.  That just leaves like this and that, before Ima run it.  Ik that the quality of the images I’m getting are adequate for my needs.  I need look nowhere else.  That saves me like a huge headache.

It feels a lot closer to a running offer, tho sh’s gonna go wrong, it always does, and then need sorting out.  It’s like I used to say tho, I’m closer now.  Like, I’m so f close Ima taste it.  F man.

It’s weird, c it gave me the exact image I w after, that’s why I love this AI so much.  It’s artist.io.  Ima honestly say to myself that something w this business, actually went right.

It’s f driving me nuts, thinking about that image.

I suppose this means that it won’t be long before my Yamanaka genes are activated.  Ima feel things speeding up.  It’s a bit like vision, where I’m noticing all this one word sh that people are fitting into conversations.

The speed, the acceleration is just breakneck speed.  Things feel like they are about to go nuts, it c be my Yamanaka genes coming online.

Like I feel the mind reaches some kinda critical mass, where the production of braincells just spikes and the brain very quickly repairs itself.

The problem w that, is the change in awareness, it just gets a bit much.  There is so much more subtleties that I’m noticing and I don’t rly have tools I’ve learned from friends to deal.  I have J’s commandments, tho my reality is just changing so much, it feels like this critical mass.

To Critical Mass

K