I’m at home
I feel I am having a lot of evil people saying stuff to me. Like I’ve been saying, J says, leap for joy when people say all kinds of evil on account of me, for great is your reward in heaven, or something similar.
It kinda makes me wonder; bc the only way to get out of this, is to be like a kid. Kids, just aren’t bothered by people being evil; they just ignore it.
This rly is the thing, that I want to get on w. I just want to get it over w. Idec any more when people say evil stuff to me.
I mustn’t judge them for doing it, it is one of J’s commandments. That’s a challenge sometimes. I think that’s how kids get away w it, they just don’t judge people for doing it.
If there were anything Ima want, it w just be to get through this phase of my life, not money or a job or anything else.
I guess, sure as sh, that no one ever became young again. There were people in Krsna’s time that were like five hundred years old, I feel, tho not lately
Am I young rn. I’m watching doll, and pretty much getting everything she is saying. Idk; like how is it even possible to tell the age of a person, inside.
Like I watch all the stuff I fw on YouTube, and it is pretty obvious that all they are young, bc of the kinds of things that they say; no older person w be like them; and yet I am.
Two girls at the bus top, looked at them both, lovers maybe, one of them says to me, I feel, she’s a kid. I feel that’s all it boils down to, being able to deal w the evil things people say.
I wonder w w come first, being young or getting a job. It’s starting to feel a lot more immediate than I thought.
Bc I took six years to get where I am, I thought that, it w take another six; it might, tho I feel that this, these things that I’m hearing people say, w stop soon.
Why don’t Ik whether I’m a kid; like for the longest time I sure as hell c tell that I wasn’t. Now I can’t tell that I am, tho I also can tell that I’m not not one.
I put my age at 21 now. The reason for this is bc I had a magazine come through my door when I w this age, and it said, I think that by the age of thirty, people get the looks that they deserve.
Well I read that and it made me feel good, bc I felt that there must be some truth in it. I feel exactly as I did then.
There’s my answer then.
I feel I w be lying, if I said my body hadn’t changed and become younger, just look at my face. I had arthritis a while back, tho I feel it w caused by riding my scooter. My grey hair is pretty much, no longer.
I suppose w I’m doing here is judging whether these changes are happening, w is judgement, w is bad.
I’m just trying to understand w is going on w me. Like I’m sure that people a talk whatever sh they like, and it not bother me; soon, I feel.
I suppose it’s imposter syndrome, like this is rly happening to me. One thing is a fact, and I judge the way that a kid does; that’s why I’m very much like one, it has made my mind similar.
It has cleaned out all the judgement from my mind, like dehumanizing the people I fw on YouTube. It’s rly that simple that that has allowed me to watch them.
And I’m so grateful, like watching them gives me so much pleasure. I’m also good w older people as well, tho they may talk more evil than the young.
#confused
well, one thing is for sure, I w find out, sooner or later.
To my mind these commandments do, did, exactly w they said they w do. they gave me the kingdom and the righteousness. I learned that it w be lowly kids who enter the kingdom of heaven, or something similar J says. I have hidden these things from the wise and the learned and showed them to little kids, and it is marvelous in my eyes. yes, hits hard.
To Whatever The F Is Going On W Me Rn
K
Miss K 