I’m down Ferry Meadows
I’ve decided to leave, one of my clubs. It affects three days a week. I must find other things to do.
I’ve had schizophrenia, for well over a week, brought on by coming off my vitamins, I feel. I have felt much better today; for a while, I w in crisis, so much fear.
In Other News
Someone gifted me a subscription to doll; tho I wasn’t able to thank him. I want to try again.
It w one hell of a ride, into, like I say, fear. Things started to change, when I spoke to my neighbor, and found out how much respect they had for me. How c I be hearing the things I had been hearing, with such compassion.
It sewed the seeds of doubt in me. I w then able to take some vitamins, and things shifted, pretty much straight away, though I feel I may still be hallucinating.
It’s super cold today. I w scared to write my blog; the vibes, of like this girl who walked past me, totally winter.
Two years ago, I felt it in the arctic freeze of January; tho, this year, I am feeling it already. That’s rl progress. I want these vibes, bc they mean full emotional health or something like that.
It’s so nice, to be able to feel it; like a lifetime’s work, just fruiting right before my eyes, sweet like tangerines, at Christmas.
I didn’t want to say anything, that c tilt the trajectory, of the Earth, as it says in James. I made sure to wait, till I was able to discern w w or wouldn’t do that.
I spoke to a nice lady on 111. I then decided, to, apply, bc I had seen an advert. I must get a reference, hope I get one.
It’s about what I need a person, to have inside, to rly click w them. There needs to be so much awareness of the self, possibly hella struggles too, Idk
I rly respect someone, who has been in the dumper, and pulled themselves out, like Cherie Lorraine. Ik how many years of effort and determination, this takes, real willpower, and never giving up, that will to feel again.
Also
I feel I mustn’t run the business, as I feel the stress of it, could be, well, stressful. I have woken up, to my responsibility, to stay safe, and it’s a big one, and kinda freaks me, that I am in charge of something so Important.
I’m so happy, to have healed to this point. Ik I got myself around people, and shook off my schizoaffective disorder, now it’s all about self care, just taking that progress, banking it, and making sure that I get to keep it.
Throughout all this, my psychiatrist, was still backing me, that I wanted to be on 1mg, the change from desperately trying to keep me on it, to desperately trying to get me off it, has been quite a switch, and one that feels amazing. I feel so respected.
That’s my aim, and I’m leaning into it. Idk
To, Just, Playing It By Ear
K
Miss K 