It’s two thirty am, I have my coffee
I’m a little scared by the feeling I get, that everyone is an angel, and that when I eat, it goes away. I w asked to ring my doctor, w I did.
I finally got hold of my vitamins, and w be able to take something that has all the trace elements and everything; tomorrow.
In Other News
W the business, and emotional selling, it’s coming along. Idk whether it w work tho. I kinda leaned into it out of fear, that I w not be able to get a job.
It’s a rly weird thing, bc whether I have the business or not, Ima still need a job. I need to be around people, and I need something to do, for more of the time.
I feel that w stop me from going crazy; like there w this time in my life, where I used to just go walking for much of the day, in fact, twice in my life. It kept me sane. It did such a good job that I made note of it.
I feel tho, that, work is so much more powerful. It’s like distraction so much, bc it’s like having to hurry w something, and that prevents thought outright, I hope.
I’m still trying to not think, at times. My thoughts turn a little wac, and I just tune them out.
Whatever this thing w, it feels like it is on its way out. It’s weird w reality is like at times, w no sense of certainty. I have hallucinated things that I w rly like to k if they were real, tho Idk; they seemed so real, and that is the f up part.
I w thinking of creating like a mini webpage, w a few products that I feel are super dope. The issue, rly, w that, Idk where to send people on my webshop, bc Idk what kinda product they were looking for.
This also gives me the opportunity, to just mention some of the benefits of some of the products, that I feel rly stand out from anything else that is out there.
I have been thinking about volunteering at the local hospital, and like I have said, maybe 111 call handler as well. The medical profession has always been a source of support for me, and I feel that it is respect for it, that leads me to wanna be closer to that kind of world.
I have been feeling more respect for people lately, w losing any doubt, when it comes to how they feel about me, I feel.
It’s quite dope, to kinda learn that people feel so much trust for people, generally; or is it just me; anyways, I feel it, and it’s a nice feeling. People just seem so much more pleasant for me.
There is a dark side tho, I have to be honest at this point and say that I feel that there are dangerous people out there. I learned both, pretty much at the same time, I feel.
This feeling that people just respect me, just makes me want to work w them, and be closer to them, it draws me in so much, making me feeling sociable.
Maybe this is the ticket to working at my dream place, is is that, I want to work w them so much and just feel this pull drawing me to wanna be closer, and reciprocated, is them feeling that Ima fit in super well.
I guess it’s like a family, something that I rly want to feel. The best feelings I had when I w a kid, w w I just w w my family at Christmas, and just felt so.. Idk, it felt like I rly w close to them, Idk.
The memories have lasted a lifetime, and now w healing, I am able to feel them once more, w the fresh winter vibe of yesterday morning when this girl walked past me, dope.
It w w|i me all the time, this like reality of such magnitude. The world is still there, regardless of who I am and whether Ima feel it, I feel; gives me hope for healing, bc I feel that all I need to do is work on me and then I get all that back.
It w be a prize of prizes, just to be able to feel w the depth of feeling that I used to, those feelings, in and of themselves, being the goal of life.
To Feeling
K
Miss K 