I went to Mahjong today; it w good. It kinda felt like super friendly, almost family vibes. I ate my sandwiches on the way back, bc I w starting to wig out and hear people saying stuff about me, I felt. Long walk back, did some shopping on the way.
W the business, I have come up w lots of content w is dope; bc Ik only too well how hard it can be to come up w like headlines for a landing page. It all just kinda flowed, tho, whether it w work.. Idk.
I ate both sandwiches at the same time, to avoid that feeling that everyone is an angel, w tends to come when I have had the first one.
I wondered whether to have an extra landing page/site after the first one, showcasing the dopeness of some of the products, Idk. Probably just send that offer and see w happens.
I haven’t got a f clue how to use Insta tho, so we’ll have to see if Ima make it work; just keep the demographic targeting that I had already set.
Things are working w|o going to the groups I w fw. I had to leave them.
I’ve started taking Calcium AKG again, and Zinc. I have so much faith that Ima trigger my Yamanaka genes. I tried to look up things that stimulate the three hedgehog pathways, tho just felt wigged out w the science of all of it.
I’ve reduced the amount of coffee that I’m having in the morning; w has reduced my symptoms; as has taking vitamins, w c well have been w caused all this hell sh.
Not judging is vital. I had this experience when I w feeling that everyone w talking sh about me. It’s bc of just eradicating judgement from my mind that I w able to let that go, quite easily.
To be honest, I feel that that sh is, are, hallucinations. Tbh, I feel that everyone does it, they don’t know that they are hearing things that are not being said, bc their ego just couldn’t handle it, I feel.
Tbh, I am flabbergasted that I haven’t lost it on this 1mg. Things feel like they are settling down, ever since the vits.
I have decided, that, I just like my life as it is rn. I don’t wanna do anything that’ll f that up; like the business. I don’t want it to change anything.
People just.. Idek how to explain how they are to me. It’s dope af. I w choose that over more money, if I had only the option of one or the other. Ik that it grows all the time w me just following J’s commandments, and who knows where it w end up.
I w never dope growing up, not the way I am now. I did have like, something, tho; something so dope, like a feeling. It w so good. It felt so good to be young, like super young, like up till the age of thirteen.
Ik that I am moving forward all the time; this healing journey just keeps on giving, and like I say, I feel it w actually lead to the feelings of those times.
The Bible tells me to stick w the friends that I have rn, w Ima do. I don’t want new people coming into my life bc of the business, that rly scares me and I feel it c put my soul in danger.
I’m having carrot, parsnip and cabbage noodles for dinner.
I need to let things settle down, before I take anything on. I’ve just come out of hell. It w the old me, that thought that no one had got me, that people were just evil, some are. I feel it w shame central.
Things seem to be coming together now tho. Somehow, through all that I seem to have found my centre. I’m moving forward now, just feeling more secure in what the future has to hold.
It’s all about feelings. Now Ik that Ima feel, I just feel everything is okay. It is the only thing I have ever wanted after losing it in my teens. It is the only thing I feel that is worth having, the only goal, that’s why I don’t want the business to screw that up.
I still have the people I fw on YouTube, to keep me sane. G I feel I have totally lost it, when I am not watching them. One day I w have people in my life who just make me feel like that; c be a long way off, and w that warning from J, I must not try and push finding it, them.
To A Future Of Feeling
K
Miss K 