It’s four am, I have my coffee
Operation Vibes
To feel fully sane at my home; just like I used to when I w a kid, to like it here, that much.
To Have that by Christmas w be a miracle. Ik I’m moving fast, being sucked into this world of feeling. I suppose it happened, since when I noticed that w|o all the judgement of this town, I w able to be there, and just feel somewhat the vibes of it.
I still remember on Thur, feeling challenged w w people were saying, and just shaking it off, tho I did have something to eat straight away. I should rly hold a little party for it, there w no cortisol produced in my mind.
A validation that eradicating judgement, cleans that junk out of my mind, it’s literally like Fairy Liquid, or Method that I use. That w bends reality is in fact these dysfunctional thoughts, creating processing power in the mind.. no actually more than that, creating a reality in the mind, that projects itself onto the outside world, making it more of a dank place.
I choose to keep w these commandments, even tho they went against w all my hallucinations were saying at that challenging time about a week ago. They have also gone against w my psychiatrist said, w w basically to judge the f out of people as a way of healing my emotionally unstable personality disorder. I’m so revved up that I never did that.
It gives me strength to continue w it. Ima not deny the change w|i me, into a super dope person, I feel. It’s a huge ask, to explain how much they have helped me, rly doing everything that I needed them to.
I function better, period; and that things where w people say is a challenge, w that gone. That’s rly where confidence comes from, from not having these judgements about people. Should I still judge them that way, then how Ima feel that they respect the f out of me like they do.
Idk if anyone wants to go down that road. Ima just explain how they took a schizophrenic and healed me and made me confident, took a sh hole of a world, and cleaned it up so it felt like the one I knew as a kid, spanking sparkling dope ass people and vibes. I feel a little too moved, Ima stop.
For me tho, it’s w the goal of actually becoming a kid. I may be one already, just like this girl said yesterday, and two girls said a while back, kid, that well is. My heart sings.
Like there is no reason for me not to be a kid. There is nothing holding me back. I feel that these commandments w just take me there, like if I took a train to China, get on, stay on, and some time later I arrive
It’s chill.
In Other News
My dab pen arrived. I ripped it open and set it up, pulled out the dab tool, and filled it. I must put in that amount I wanna do, like I w doing a bucket, w is w w used to do in the UK, these guys brought lungs into the equation w w dope also.
My schizophrenia, w paradoxically, I no longer have, has settled down. I honestly feel that it w quitting my vitamin tablets that set it off. I w warn any schizophrenic.
Just lit that this is happening, like I’m feeling these vibes, kinda just like I say, validated that all these commandments actually do w they say; and looking forward to Christmas for how its gonna feel, and the future in general for the leveling up of my zhè to the point of total youth, eek.
I want to take a peek at the world today; is it the same world that I came from. I just am vibing like f just thinking about it, w so much excitement.
One thing I like how society has changed is like Bet, the kid in the fluffy ears hat, and Suki. It well far along compared to me at school. I had a female bag, and this kid has girls boots, tho that w about as far as it went.
To Youth
K
Miss K 