It’s midnight, I have my coffee
I just added the image for my landing page; and left it there. I’m hoping to get a few bits done, tho Ima take it slow. I also wanna apply for a personal assistant job. I’ve just finished up, my last bit of Columbian.
That’s the thing, it’s getting one thing done at a time, bit by bit, inching my way to a running campaign. The Headlines were so easy to crush. This is a new way of marketing that I haven’t seen before, so Idk whether it w work. It involves emotional triggers, where the whole page are, is, emotions, hoping to get the customer feeling the right feelings, for the product.
Stew’s course said that buying is an emotional thing, tho Idk if this w be powerful; tho the thing is is that I went my own way, w I w rly appeals to me. Should it work, imagine the self esteem from figuring this way of selling out. It w be worth the years that I have spent learning this.
Just leaning into not judging a lot; lately. It rly w take me to where I wanna go; and then there’s the being open and just filling myself w the vibes. People in this town, just wanna pour out their vibes onto me.
It’s like the portals that I noticed before. There w this one time, when I w triggered, and I just had this vibe off of someone, and it pulled me back in; portals to being upset, and portals back in to feeling okay.
That’s w this openness is, it’s a portal to feeling the vibes I wanna feel. It’s a portal in the right direction; and it also allows me to get back in, when I have felt upset about something, meaning that I am not out for that long, out of reality and out of connection w people. It heals.
I w thinking about London and how my late friend, said that it w a very impersonal place; thinking about the Christmas vibes that I love so much and whether Ima feel them, it, there. Idk. Idk even if it’s possible to feel those feelings there; so Idk whether I w ever wanna live there.
The vibes in this town are so strong, remembering Christmases when I w a kid, feeling so amazing. Idk if Ima feel that anywhere else, to assume so, is exactly that, a bit of an assumption.
Surely feeling the vibes down Ferry Meadows is worth something. It’s a place Ima always go to feel good. Where does it put me on the map of trying to travel back in time, how far back have I gone.
That’s why I must continue to not judge, to travel back further, until I am back where I wanna be, verbatim the reality I used to have.
The good thing is is that Ima always travel in that direction, as long as I follow J’s commandments. It has been for the last six years, and w continue to be so. It just fills me w a feeling that Ima not quite describe, just knowing that, kinda eery in its brand of lit vibes.
I must remember the parable of the unmerciful servant. I must be warned. Tbh Ima not think about it. It kinda just unsettles me and I don’t wanna lose this feeling. I feel it w be damaging to me to go there; it w bring in worry, worry for losing all this, and I feel that w not be healthy. At least I’ve read it and k of the pitfall.
I remember thinking, I’m strong now, and fantasizing about having strong boundaries. The thing w w that, when I fantasized about standing up to people it just wrecked me, it w super damaging. I’m glad my mind doesn’t go there anymore.
It w out of this need to feel secure, tho it w bring in the treacherous situation I fear.
I feel more secure ever since that week, where I just felt that I w in hell. It brought about just this change in my reality, where I felt secure. Maybe that’s my reward in heaven that J speaks of. I remember as a kid just feeling super secure.
I felt that no one w help me w anything, tho that w bc of insecure attachment, tho in the main, I felt safe, and super chill.
Fears are a danger in and of themselves. I remember a few times when I committed to letting them go, one specifically when I chose to let people in. Letting people in allows me to feel the vibes. It w a doorway to the reality I want; so glad I went there. It w scary tho a good bet.
At that time, I saw a kid, walking; and he seemed so open. That rly validated w this w all about, and I went for it; just a little light in a time of confusion, and tbh senility.
They have helped bring me back in; like w the comment on I Woke Up A Vampire, saying that imaginary scenarios and how to solve them, never works out well. That actually got me out of jail, of anxiety. It w at that point that I let that go; so grateful to her specifically for that help; dope.
And I wonder what it’s like to have the twice the Neurons like kids have; how does that impact or change reality. I just remember feeling so alright in myself, totally at peace, whole, complete; feeling that adults just weren’t happy and now knowing why; having this word sad that I w say about people, and remembering how my dad just didn’t get it. They were in a different reality for sure, it w weird.
To Time Travel
K
Miss K 