Hey

It’s midnight, I have my coffee.  I may have some CBD w it.

I am chomping to go ahead w the campaign, kinda scared for whether my ad w hit.  I thought AI’ing the sounds that someone w make in a certain situation.  It’s an emotional thing; when feeling certain emotions.  I just went ahead and made up a sound that someone might make.

I w walking near someone down Ferry Meadows, saying that Ima not tell myself that it’s gonna work, and she said that by the sound of me, it w; w w truly nice, tho Ima still not tell myself that it w.  It just feels amazing to have this much support off of people.

At least it motivates me to run it, whether it’s gonna work or not.  I just relish the authenticity of my own personal way of doing it, yeep.

I kinda feel excited for getting it sent out there, this morning.  I w get stats for click through rates and all that sh, and w k whether it’s working.  I’ll be able to change it if I need to, like maybe look at the Insta Ad Library and learn w makes a good ad.

I did a course in Google Ads, that taught me how to get people clicking, and Ik that Ima get like a ten percent click through rates.  This does not translate onto Insta tho, I w have to learn all over again w gets people jonesing for the click; or not, like I say.

I feel it’s just a case of allow.  People wanna click on stuff like f, they just rly wanna see something that allures them to do that; and I just have to allow.  Just rly get centered and feel the inspiration on that, it is w|i.

I feel that something they have not seen before, might do it, tho Idk; something daring, bold and authentic; something that speaks right to them.

Idk if Ima get on their wavelength.  My ads do appeal to a small demographic and from that point of view, Ima hope for the best, it’s rly all Ima do.

Earlier Today

I’m down Ferry Meadows

I had to lean into, again, not thinking that things is gonna work.  I found myself, trying to convince myself, and I found myself in very dangerous territory.  And then, I’m kind of asking myself, why am I trying to convince myself of this. There’s absolutely no need, to be thinking this way at all.

To be honest, I don’t know how close I am to running a campaign. It depends if I have any payment issues on Insta. It could just be five minutes to whack it together. 

It’s like my feels, are all different, all of a sudden.  I was at the doctors, and it felt like it had changed.  I wondered what was happening within me.

I guess it’s just socializing, being around people, and just, I suppose, just entering the social world. I have no idea how much there is to learn, or how I will feel, or who I will be, in the future.

How do I quantify the reality? I’m in, how do I appraise it?  Idk.  Things have got so much better since, years gone by.  I still have my challenges, and I still struggle.

Back To Rn

So, as I said, the only danger to me rn, is to believe my own bull sh.  There is no need to tell myself that it’s gonna work, it has no bearing on whether it w or not.  Just allow things to play out the way that they w, have faith in like life, that some things work and others don’t tho things generally just tend to be okay in some way.  I suppose w I’m saying is that there is nothing to be scared of, having a passion is a good thing, just let go.

I remember when I w a kid, telling myself that I w definitely gonna get the job, when I applied for it.  This actually worked like gangbusters, tho Ima not do that here.  I remember my stepdad telling me that he got every single job he applied for; w be nice to talk to him, f me that’s something I c learn.

Well, it follows that if Idc whether it works or not, then I don’t have to run this campaign this morning, if it takes a little longer than that.  Ima take my time and it’s done when it’s done.  Love the way that chills the zhè the f down.  Like this is my only problem the need for it to work, it doesn’t.

I’ve been around older people a lot, and seen how their world changes w age.  I saw someone w w like four years older than me and looked like an old man, I felt; hard to deal w.  Pinning all my hopes on that these commandments work.

To my mind and to the present, they do.  They have changed me, beyond recognition on who I w before, there is no doubt; at all.  I’m kinda scared tho.

Like I say tho, I have been called a kid, twice, and that’s good enough for me.

I’m wondering about switching to Zinc AKG.  I’ve got my biological age down enough, I don’t feel that I look old.  I c now reduce it slightly every day w Zinc.  I feel the Krebs Cycle w like this more.  The Krebs Cycle involves Zinc, so it might supercharge it.

I’m wondering if Ima take it for a month, and see how I feel.  There may be this huge change in me that is undeniable, motivating me to carry on w it.  If I feel any younger, Ima go around in a pram.

Dementia is anther thing, research leaning heavily towards that it is caused by a leaky gut infection in the brain; taking probiotics to avoid the f out of this.

In Other News

I have noticed that some things are cheaper on Amazon, tho some things are more expensive, tho it’s worth a look.  The Prime delivery is working well for me.  I’ve gone off contemporary cinema, tho the Canadian films may be good.  Netflix slaps, tho only every now and then.

I used to think that Netflix w like the source of all youth and dopeness, like it w w all sane people w watch stuff, waking up to realizing that it’s just a streaming platform that is only as good as it is.  It’s like the old days of TV, where a good film w only come along every once in a while.  There w cable, tho Idk w the contemporary equivalent of that is.

To Not Believing Our Own Bull Sh

K