Hey

It’s two thirty am, I have my coffee

I had a dream that I had a premonition.  I w behind this bus, and I saw it literally do a wheelie, and then flip onto its side.  It then happened how I had saw it.

I managed to stay calm through not judging.  Judging for me, means, their body language means this, it means that.

No wonder I w sat on the bus, and I w scared that they were looking at me, trying to figure out w I w thinking; I only do this to other people, don’t I.

Feels like such a violation, and that’s probably why I w able to stay calm when I didn’t do it.

What I noticed about this w that my mood w good and I felt happy in my surroundings.

It w a lot of work tho, straining to not think anything bad about anyone.  It came down to impulses in my mind, just these energies of w they c have been doing that w off; I blocked them out, and like I said, I stayed in a good reality that I sorely didn’t want to leave.

This Morning

The Taxi

I w walking, just trying to keep anger out of my head.  I had felt like I w interested in the people, that were coming past me in their cars or walking, Idk.  I felt kinda a pull towards them, w I blocked out.  I didn’t want to be giving them the wrong impression.

The problem w this w that, it made me angry.  I w very tuned into this anger and noticed it straight away.  I had to say to myself that I had to just drop this blocking of my feelings, and risk w might happen through this.

That w the key; that put me in the reality I found myself in a little later.

I w walking through town and started feeling timeless vibes along the way, w w nice; then I saw this taxi, and my mind came alive w timeless emotion, and I felt something marvelous, this vibe of w it feels like to be in town, it w just.. a rl shocker tbh, that it c feel like that here.

I had done it, I had been able to feel town vibes.  I had been able to feel them in other parts of the place tho never in town; this rly had felt like a step in the right direction.

Now I kinda love living in Town and just wanna chase this feeling.

In Other News

The Business

Oh, my.. I w on the page getting some help, and the page crashed, kinda a button for me, as I have been trying to sort this out for like two months, Idk; just rly leave it at that.

Now Ik that kid reality just comes from not judging people, and that is why J says not to judge as one of his commandments.  I feel that J w just trying to make me happy, and I love that.

One thing I struggle w, is that someone w thinking x, when they made that body movement, some kinda judgement of me.  It’s dangerous thinking something like that.  I’m getting good at avoiding thoughts like that tho, hence, how good things went today.

I feel rly grateful to J, rn.  To feel that these words come actually from heaven, are just, kinda blows my mind, and Ima totally believe it.

And

I decided to not go to the meal for Christmas, bc I had arranged something to do on Christmas day.  I feel that I may feel super special, spending it w someone else, a few other people actually.  It means a lot.

Ik that, should the business work, I w feel hella self esteem through all the passion I have put into it; tho, Ima focus on these feelings I have.  They are something that I want so much more.

I’ve started to eat, when I start freaking out, that one hundo, allowed me to feel these vibes today.  I have to take rly seriously, carrying a muffin, just in case.

Loving w J’s commandments are doing for me; tho this is a journey, and I wanna step into it, and embody it more.  C I get to kid consciousness, Idk; I think so, as these vibes are something similar to what I felt when I w a teen, just before I lost it.  Maybe I’m there and Idek it.

To J’s Commandments Bringing Feels

K