It’s midnight, I have my coffee; it’s Brazilian and absolutely to die for.
Emotionally unstable, yes I am; emotionally unstable personality disorder. I struggle to feel my feelings.
I explained this to someone, as like, say someone makes me smile; those are feelings, and my feelings are getting stronger.
After following J’s commandments for six years, suddenly I am able to feel my feelings. This is bc of being able to keep judgement and worry out of my head, to be present enough to feel them. The truth is that healing takes time.
W makes me think, w w I before, I shudder to think.
In Other News
I finally cracked how to solve my payment method issues.
Firstly, when getting help online, it is best to take a shot of the error message. This is useful to give the exact issue when typing it into help.
It told me that I had had, all my help requests. Actually, none of them had gone through. Tho it offered me the help pages, that had an exhaustive list of w to do, a total rundown, giving me step by step.
Also
I ordered a Storm Fit jacket for the summer. I managed to get some trainers fifty percent off, the ones I wanted, yeep. I love them. Gotta look dope. I look like a snowboarder.
I w love, getting the campaign up for Christmas, and getting like even one pound, for Christmas day. Is this unrealistic, Idk. I also have a couple of other campaigns that I’m thinking of.
Town vibes ahoy captain, today, this morning. They seem to be strongest at this time. Idek how I feel, I just move slow and that suits me. No jerky body movements as I wouldn’t like that done to me.
Idk how I am confident, I feel so weird inside. It’s that emotional instability, it c strike at any time, it takes constant effort to keep things going 24/7. Shutting worry and judgement out of my mind. Total and pure presence works for me, I have noticed this over the last few days. It has been how I kept my mood. Just so much joy in noticing the vibes of the people around me.
There’s this fear that the business w be a mash, tho I must do it, bc like I say, I’m motivated to do this for Christmas.
I’m having a meal w my group, today; w do that on the way back. Must remember to get off the bus at the right time.
I’m not affected by the low light levels. This used to be something that I struggled w, having depression. I feel that the Curcumin that I have taken for years has dealt w that; through multiplying braincells in my hippocampus. It has made the part of my brain associated w depression fully healthy. I don’t say this lightly.
I remember this parable of this rich man who goes to the temple and looks down on everyone, and then this guy who wouldn’t even look up to the alter, who says something like, help me Lord, a sinner. J says, who do you think w justified before G.
Becoming aware of everyone’s emotional stability is a rly humbling experience. Not judging has allowed me to break through the wall of looking down on them; now I see that they were the ones who were always healthy. It hurts.
I still can’t handle people, I feel it’s those who are nervous around me, bc of low self esteem, tho Idk. It kinda makes me feel like a creep to be bothered by people so much; tho I have no qualms about removing myself from the situation as Ima not be around someone where I feel upset, I’m not a masochist.
I’m very careful w my body language, that it doesn’t look like I’m thinking that they can go f themselves.
Facebook had lots of broken links, tho when I used Chrome, it actually worked. I also restarted my phone. Like I say, it w too late tho.
AI
I think the problem w AI, is that people don’t yet k the power of it. I guess they don’t believe the difference it makes, for example in Marketing. It w come to light, at some point in the future, exactly how good it is.
To Smiling
K
Miss K 