It’s midnight, I have my coffee
I had this vision, that I w from another planet. I saw my death, flying in formation and then the accident. I saw my workshop, and the fusion powered engine that I w designing. I heard the way the warriors w say Tova, in the breathy way, not pronouncing the v.
One thing that has become clear to me, over the last little while.. is that, Idk what is real or what is not; experiencing things that Idk whether they happened. Things that I felt and saw, and did.
I saw a tree, more of a palm, and felt the vibe of it so clearly, later on seeing one in Uganda, and feeling the same vibe. Could it be that n’as had taken over the world, and I w living there.
In Other News
Maybe, if an ad didn’t look like an ad, and looked like a social media post, one that w highly clickable; then it w get more of a click through. Perhaps researching the most viral posts, and seeing if there is some kinda formula to what works. Idk.
The Mind Mash
The mind mash, is like a thing all of its own. It’s identifying, when the mind is trying to f me up. It’s guilt tripping me, coming up w all these things that make me feel like a bad person; the crux being that if I don’t get anxiety over them, then I don’t care about other people.
Now I see that it is just my mind trying to hurt me, that’s all it is.
And when I’m in a mind mash, there is no end to the thoughts Ima turn to and they are all bad. It’s best to just give up thinking for a hot minute.
I had one, that, earning like obscene amounts of money w be bad for my soul, and that I should give the whole thing up. It’s best for my mental health to stay the f away from them.
I tend to just err towards, just being present; even perhaps that all thought is kinda bad.
I w walking to Town, and the Christmas winter vibes, w the ice on the ground; knowing that should I think, I w be losing all these special feelings of the morning. I tried to stay in that vibe, not letting it go, only drifting out now and then to think, whatever.
That’s the fear, losing feelings through getting sucked into thought. These turn nasty on the far end of the scale, tho throw out the good feelings of presence at the other. It’s pretty much not good for a good deal of the majority of the time.
In Other News
Why look in the mirror, when I am out, Ik what I look like.
Chicks who are an eleven, they just have ordinary faces, when I cast my eyes over them. I’ve noticed that it is the facial expressions that rly make them fire.
I am a strong believer that anyone can be a ten. I have seen it happen that just anyone can become that; I feel it has happened to me, maybe.
Am I a perv
I w struggling when down Ferry Meadows, and felt uncomfortable that I w being controlled by my feelings like that. I then went the next day, and just saw young women, the way that I used to when I w at school.
I feel it’s more what they are doing, that makes them look like that, than anything that is going on w me.
Like beauty, and anyone can be a ten, anyone can also look like that, be so desirable. That’s actually what I don’t want. I rly choose to avoid that, for getting unwanted attention off of people; and how ironic that young women look like that when they are in relationships; that’s the one time that surely they w w to be left alone and not bothered by anyone.
Looks clearly are malleable, depending on how that person wants to be seen.
Ima look like a ten, w|o any one feeling that they desire me, that’s my goal. Kinda basic of me to feel that people w bother me bc of the way I look; tho I did buy some baggy trousers that w cover me up.
It’s this fear of men that they are somehow, just, made to bother women, at some kinda fundamental level.
To Aesthetic
K
Miss K 