Hey

It’s midnight, I have my coffee

I may have got my ad to run; Idk.

I had problems w my payment method again, w w a bit of a mash; then I went onto Meta For Business, and put it in.  It said that it had not worked; tho like when I went to Insta to post an ad, it said that my ad w under review.  It had never seen this before, so maybe it has worked, Idk.

I kinda feel like, tho, that Idk whether this ad campaign w work; is it good enough.  I’ve seen some pretty f up ads, that went viral, so who k how this game works.

At least I have used emotional triggers, w is one step ahead of getting ads to work.  Normally other psychological triggers are used.  These are one way of making something go viral, according to a course I saw advertised on my feed.

Like the one thing that sinks the ship faster than a torpedo, is spending all the money earned.  Ima just sit here, maybe, in my flat and just live the same life; at least Ima be safe from that fate.

Like, w w I need a bigger place.  If I had the money to get one, then I wouldn’t need to, right.

In Other News

My psychiatrist appointment has been pushed back.

My goal w to run the ad, before Christmas.  It looks like I might have one out before the new year.

I don’t have any problem w getting older, w is far removed from how my peers feel.  To me, Christmas w all about not being afraid; that’s kinda how I feel rn.  I mean, w wouldn’t I.  I feel younger every day, and that is something to look forward to.

It also saved my ad, w made it look like the payment method went through, as it has never done this before, tho Idk; yeep.

Most people wanna do this, do that, w the money; I just wanna maintain the same life.

I need to calm down; like I say, I mashed myself a little sorting it out.  That means leaving all that sh alone for today.  Tho, if it worked, that w mean that I managed to put in my business account, w is the one that I tried to in the first place.  It w mean that I have all my incomings and outgoings all in one place, better for tax and better for the JobCentre.

I heard that foreign tax w like this sh storm, tho tbh I found it no trouble.  Good that I’ve got that out of the way.  I must say that tax w something that I found super intimidating; then I found out that they may not even need any proof of it.

It c have been the Zoomable browser that I have been using, that fluffed things up; bc it doesn’t have background app refresh, w c mean that when I come off, to validate my payment method, it folds; Idk.

I validated my payment method on Meta For Business, and it said that it hadn’t gone through, tho maybe it did.

It’s literally driving me supercritical holding space for whether the ad’s gonna work.  I may just have to get chongy today; that thing’s a ripper; like chilling about on a cloud, aloof from w is going on.

Like I say, I need to get centered again; Idk how long that w take.  I just want to be in a space where Ima watch some ASMR and be present w it; get chongy, get some sleep.

This payment method, Insta, w a zilla of a f.

The Fountain Of Youth

Just totally, have complete faith in the process; it’s uncanny how chill I am.

For openers, why do they call it the fountain of youth and not immortality; well w the f w w to live forever if they couldn’t be young.

I see that getting to eighteen is one gargantuan sized ask; I’m finally beginning to see that, and yet I don’t feel like I’m asking anything unreasonable.  Why should I not want to be eighteen, w the f is w w that.  It’s actually a super righteous thing to want.  I feel that’s something that’s lost on a lot of adults, w a good thing it is.

I w kinda scared af; kids seemed wac af; tho now, I see them walk past me, talking their game, and they just get more real and more real, and then they just kinda seem like people, and that being young is totally normal.  They don’t have two heads.

I’m here in my twenties, and it seems like such a huge step.  Omg, it’s freaking me right out.  There’s no need to be scared, it’s nothing weird.

In order to have the feelings inside that I want, I have to be a teen.  My memories come from there and I just remember feeling so alright in myself.  I yearn for that so hard, and Ik that the only way to have that, is to be a teen and there is no way to settle.

That feeling of being a teen, just draws me in like a moth to a flame.  I can’t avoid it, deny it, escape it, it w be so f dope.

And teens like, they just be nonchalant about what they have; don’t they k that w they feel is so special.  I try and urge them to not lose it, and my words just don’t seem to have enough power, it hurts in my soul.  These feeling are too much.

To InstaZilla And Kid Vibes

K