It’s one thirty am, I have my coffee
I went out like a light, and just woke up. This is the last day on my own, and then I am at my clubs again. I w like to find something else to do over the weekend.
Croquet w be starting up soon, and that w be amazing. It’s on three times a week w is marvelous.
I have new trainers to try out tomorrow. I also noticed that my waterproof ones have storm tread. Hopefully this means that they w be good for pouring rain.
Again, it’s just be chill w the business. I’ve got to wait a week, before Ik whether any income has come in. I don’t think I filled out a w8-BEN, so Idk whether I w be able to get money from sales in the states. I c be wrong, maybe I did.
It’s weird, being around people who are successful, and feeling like I fit in w them. All my life I have felt like people like that are better than me, so it feels rly good.
It also feels like a cheat, that I have got there w so little work; tho this is kinda me lying to myself bc it has taken six years to get here. I suppose that’s imposter syndrome; like w w they treat me w respect, surely I don’t deserve that.
I don’t believe in Uni. I hold that the best way to create anything is to study for myself. I w like to see kids teaching themselves in the future and feel that it c be the way; as it takes a whole lifetime to be trained in something, and then that person is stuck in that discipline.
I feel I have gone a new way, w is to turn my attention to different things during the course of my life and w like to see me do this in society; training myself in knowledge around it, as I go.
That’s why I w like to see the knowledge available for everyone. I don’t like the thought that Uni’s are gatekeeping.
I feel that getting a handle on the business, w stand me in good stead, when it comes to creating the fuel cell, and the Graphene transistor.
It kinda scares me, bc I had the realization that we shouldn’t travel to other star systems. One single bacteria from another planet, c wipe out all life on this planet; kinda a scary thought; and I feel that this technology w get us there.
It’s kinda unnerving that creating something may change human civilization. What gives me the right.
That’s the crazy thing about having a passion and seeing it through; it just allows me to try other things, that are even harder, and c even change the world. I start w myself and just work up.
That’s for another day tho; just for today, Ima work on the business and try and get that income; and rn, like I say, Ima just chill.
There have been many chill days along the way. I’ve kinda ramped things up in the last few months, upsetting myself every morning, trying to figure things out, calming down, and going again.
It has taught me a lot; about computers and I am more competent to operate them now.
I wonder when the feeling that something won’t work w leave me. It’s my go to, and I feel it comes from the way I w treated growing up. My mind is screaming, you must be joking. It’s kinda devaluing the f out of me, for thinking that I c make it work. I’ll believe it when I see it.
It’s hard to deny things w a killer performing ad tho. Surely it w not be hard to link it to something that c well create an income, Idk.
My ads shred it more in California, so maybe Ima just post them there; tho for max income I should send them all over the states. There are other demographic targeting tricks that I use.
Insta is not as accurate w keywords, as Google Ads. I have to just find something similar to the intention I need from them, and go w it. It’s a whole new animal, and I’m stoked to f ery that in just a couple of months I nailed the f out of it.
When I chose to leave Google Ads, that decision, w hard as I have a problem w boundaries, devaluing myself for feeling that Ima do better. I felt like a had hurt the business, and felt a little shame; like I w weak for not dealing w high pressure sales, I feel.
Insta is much better, I feel that Google Ads is toxic as f. The help just feels gaslighty, that they just want large corporations to win and knobble small advertisers trying to compete, I feel, gaslighting them that they were wrong for thinking that it c work, devaluing them for thinking that they c get a good price for the ad, I feel, and by them I mean me. Idk.
I always wanted large volumes of ads, and feel that I w held back, like millions a month.
I wonder if Google Ads inflate the price of ads for someone not purchasing millions a month, and feel that Insta is just so much fairer allowing me to post in competition to anyone; it’s the new way, the way of this generation, I feel, and I love the f out of the new ways, even tho, contemporary psychology, I have rejected in favor of J’s commandments.
Oh, the irony of them being two thousand years old and allowing me to be even kinder than w is taught fresh at the minute; blows me away. I guess I’m ahead of the game, and am waiting for even the next generation of kids to be born, and so on and so forth, like any immortal would; reveling in the changing world that I live in, living through those changes as my raisin detre.
As the end of Kali Yuga is upon us, I feel that we w all be immortal soon enough; and end to the age of war, peace being life, essentially.
To Peace
K
Miss K 