Hey

It’s two thirty pm, I have my coffee

Kid Consciousness

I w there for a moment.

I remembered like, when I w a kid, being in town, and how it felt.  It w just this incredible feeling of abundance, kinda.

I had that today.  It w the same vibe.  It w a little less strong tho the feeling felt the same.

I’m totally blown away.  Like I remember feeling like all my problems w be solved, if I c just feel that; and today I did. Tbh I’m pretty nonchalant about it.

So w happened, w; I w at one of my groups, and I just w concentrating so much that I started feeling the feelings of the men in the group.  Feeling w they were feeling felt safe to me.

I suppose I w scared of offending someone and realized the safety of just dwelling in their feelings.

I w on the way home and I had just kinda got stuck in presence.  I w trying to think as little as possible.  I got to Town and it w harder, tho I tried; and this feeling came through.

I remembered back to my youth and remembered that only on certain occasions, did my feelings came through, and that I remembered how they felt.  There w rly only one time that I remembered where I had prolonged feelings.  I w walking home from school and I noticed how good I felt and the coincidence that I w not thinking also, and wondering whether the two were connected, tho not following up on it; very sad that is.

I suppose I now have more chance to feel things, bc I’m not an over-thinker and am able to clear the chatter out of my head more.  Things c actually be better now.

I just have to increase the number of neurons that I have, to accommodate this reality of feeling; expand it, and then live in it.  That w actually be kid reality.

There’s more to it than that.  I walked past a twelve year old on the way home.. and he w clearly in a different reality.  I w have to age backwards to be able to feel it.  Tho I feel I am on the right path and w get there just by continuing w I’m doing.

Tho tbh, my reality atm, isn’t too bad; especially if I stop thinking and feel feelings.

It’s absolutely the answer to all stress.  All stress goes away during presence.  I w only say that I recommend J’s commandments as a way of feeling more at peace.  That is honestly the way that I feel it’s right to get there; to where I am.

Kid consciousness has to be the goal.  Ever since I lost it when I w like eighteen, I wanted it back, and have never forgotten that dream.  To me it is necessary for some reason.  Like reality is the most important thing to me, to just be at peace in my reality.  Ik that that w only happen when I am there.

In Other News

Like I said before, I have to wait on the business till friday, to see if I have been paid.  It w be at that time that Ima create a plan, as to what to do.

I am also waiting to hear back from them, on whether I am allowed to promote in the States.  Both these things need waiting on and there is no substitute.  Then I w be able to move on from there.

Very unromantic tho that is how things are.  I have to tell myself that nothing is wrong, and just chill.

The waiting is hard.  Like I’m on the precipice of knowing that I have a way of making an income, something that w get me into a new line of work.  It w suddenly become real that I have made it work and that I am now competent; actually super duper competent, like hitting it out of the park, competent, even a total and utter expert in Affiliate Marketing.

That scares the crap out of me, being an expert in it, bc of the large sums of money that can be made by someone who k what they are doing.  It’s kinda intimidating to have that kinda skill, even to myself.

It’s understandable how some people can be a bit intimidated by, like say they fancy someone tho feel that they just are too nervous to talk to that person.  That’s how I feel about myself.

I wouldn’t want anyone to feel that they c not approach me, tho how can they when Ima not even accept myself for being successful.  I’m even too scared to talk to me.

I have humility power tho, and it gives me the ability for people to not give a f around me, and say all the stupid sh that comes spilling out of their mouths, I feel.

The scary thing is is that I have started to listen, and somehow my perception has changed to where they all make sense.  It’s like I am becoming real.

That’s w J’s commandments say, how I treat others is how I w be treated; and when they become real so do I, I feel.  It’s like a mirror, only feeling worthy of respect when respecting others.  Every time I lose respect for others, I also lose respect for myself; that being the factor that decides how long I stay in this reality.

Like I have said, the main option is to just not think, therefore not disrespecting anyone; and prolonging it to the max.  I don’t wanna rewrite J’s commandments tho, they are complete in and of themselves.

Their beauty rly surpasses anything found in this world.  They are not of this world, and Ik that now.  They make me love people of this world, tho sadly I realize that I am not, oh the irony.

Ik that I have to become more like them.  Idk how that w take shape when I am not allowed to judge; tho Ik that that is my reality and it is the reality I want, to be able to see people as they are w|o judgement.

I see that now.  I w confused for a while, wondering if I didn’t judge then did I cease to exist.  It w frightening, tho I am safe, it just allows me to be more perceptive, not less so.

To Kid Consciousness

K