Hey

It’s two pm, I’m making coffee

I just got wet.  I used the Dark Sky app for like two years and this never happened, and now it’s incorporated into the Weather App, this has happened twice.  I feel I shall find another weather app, probably an American one, that I have to pay for.

Things just were better.  I managed to step out of the reality that everyone is evil.  I feel that it is bc I have more neurons now.  The brain map of the old gene expression of my brain is gone now, I feel; pretty much.

I genuinely feel that I should soon see my hedgehog pathway open all the way, and all the changes that come w that.

There is also the possibility that I lose my hair and that doesn’t happen tho; tho my faith is rly strong.  Alls I have to worry about, is following J’s commandments.  I feel that judging, causes a collapse in the gene expression of the brain, leading to aging.  I must not do it.

If only to be a dope as f person, yk.  There rly is no going back; I love not judging so much.  I feel that it is w has allowed me to escape this reality; this constant pain and narcissism.  I feel it’s the paranoia of a narcissist; the constant feeling that people are evil.  Ik how they blow up from time to time, I feel; and feel it’s bc of just feeling that they did something evil, when rly they feel that way about people all the time anyway, I feel.

I feel I have escaped feeling like a pathological narcissist; or worse.

In Other News

I have to work on my landing page.  I must put something in; and move sh around.  Tbh I don’t feel like it, I may do it tonight.  I w only have spent three quid on ads in the mean time.

I w genuinely scared that I had dementia or a brain tumour.  My memory is so good tho.

I’ll have to work on doing this, to escape the pain in my mental state.  I guess I’m shook up from the freak outs I’ve been through.  Not having CBD should allow me to stay sane.

It’s like my mind doesn’t have the structural integrity to stay sane; and once I enter that reality where, when, everyone is evil, it does huge psychological damage.  I never got sucked into it today, and that’s a good thing.

I still essentially, need to learn that people are not evil, and that they are not doing or thinking w I think they are thinking.  That is where my empathy w come online and clear that up.  Once I learn it, I can’t unlearn it, and I w be good to just stay sane and not get destabilized.

As long as I don’t worry or judge, that w be my reality.  I w feel like kid again, I feel.

The promise of that this happening, it just never goes away; in fact it just ever seems more and more likely.  I love the sh out of this, it’s a trip.  Like w c be better than ending up in heaven.

The dopeness I have, no longer intimidates me.  I don’t feel that it is something that people can’t handle. I mean, to be honest, some w super low self esteem may find it an issue.

Tho, for the most part, it is just me reverting back to youth.  Yes, I’ll be able to function better and remember more, tho it’s not like people a be mobbing me, I feel.  The closer I get to it, the more I feel, now, like that’s all it w be, just youth, nothing more, nothing scary.

I guess I w too demented to see that it w nothing grandiose; like this middle age jank, who had become a kid, like It’d be the highest form of grandiosity available; no, it’s just being a kid, a plain old kid, nothing more, nothing special just bopping around, living my life.

I guess as I lose my dementia Ima see that, and understand that it is normal and natural, I feel.  It w feel more and more right and safe.  This is kinda freaking me out, tho yea, just feeling good in myself, yea, pretty dope actually.

And the realization that what actually causes all that dementia, I feel is all that senile judging and worrying, turning the mind to mush.

To Straightforward And Matter Of Fact

K