Hey

It’s two thirty pm

The girl from my housing association has been round, it w good.  I tidied up a little.

It w much easier than I thought it w be, and it feels good.  I aim to get on top of it, bc it helps me to function better w the business.  I guess it improves my self esteem w is everything.

I’ve got my web shop set up now, to show me my metrics, as they come in; w is invaluable, bc it will let me k if I am doing things right; or wrong.

I’m pretty much forgetting about it.  I did super well, communicating and reading the social queues.  It w rly hard on me, tho I had already done it.

I’m still thinking about voluntary work.  I’m rl attracted to doing Samaritans.  Idk w I’m getting into, tho there is only one way to find out.

I’d have to do one midnight shift, tho that w be okay, I’m sometimes up at that time anyway.  I wanted to do it years ago tho felt put off.

It w give me more to do in the week, w w be super.  Croquet doesn’t start for two months, so I w, realistically, need something.

It’s nice that I’m able to think about it.  I just felt overwhelmed for a bit.  Idk when it w happen.

I feel that I’m getting a headache rn, so I may take some pills.  I don’t want to fill myself w caffeine too much.

I’ve had inspiration for my landing page; to have another image lower down, to break things up, instead of having text; w like a caption underneath.  I’ve already written the prompt for it.  I should be able to use free AI to make it.

It’s so rewarding to be working on these things.  Smashing the ad, has made me feel that Ima cope w pretty much anything; and by pretty much anything, I mean the landing page.  It doesn’t rly seem that hard now.

Ima just give it time and work on it every now and then; like I used to w the ad.  Idk how long it w be till it works.  Tbh I have things the other way round; normally people find the landing page easy and the ad hard, I feel.  Trust me to be contrary.

I feel that more work w rly help me a lot.  I need to be more active.  The fact that I w be able to do it at home w be super.  I may have to stay at home some of the time, tho at least I w be talking to people; so to speak, and that should make me feel like I am doing something that matters.

I feel the season change.  I feel where I am atm; and I feel where we are moving to; and it just feels like things w get so much better as the days draw out.  I feel my mood w improve a ton.

On reflection, it may have been a bad move for me to, lower my medication right around Christmas.  To me that seems like, not rly surprising that it didn’t work.  I should feel happy to try again.

I feel so optimistic about giving it another go; tho I w have to level up my social skills, as I feel that should prevent me from hallucinating, w is rly the problem that I am taking the pills for.  Clearing that up w pretty much mean that I don’t need them any more.

It’s easier said than done tho.  It’s a lot of work to level up my empathy, and should rly take hella time, tho w be super worth it.  I feel renewed, feeling like things rly will change.  This kinda makes me feel scared that I have left my old life, and excited to be out of it as well.  Mixed feelings.

To The Spring

K