Hey

It’s about three am, I have my coffee

I must never be rude to someone, who I feel is being rude to me; out of having crazy low self esteem.  I w continue in my path to youth, as long as I don’t do this.  This is the one thing that Ima do that c, and I feel will stop this.

I feel that it is the one thing to look out for, and Ima expect to get closer to youth, and all the way to it,as long as I don’t do this, I feel.

It’s kinda scary, a reality w|o judgement, seeing like the inner workings of how people treat each other.  I’m glad I never saw these things w I w young, it w have been too much.  I w just being a kid and enjoying my life.

There’s this fear that everyone is a perv, and that’s why they take a rl hard look at me as they come past.  W I do k, is that, male awareness requires them to kinda look hard, as they are taking my energy and feeling good over it.

This w mean that they are actually fully healthy, I guess.  I used to do the same thing when I w a kid.  The point is that I don’t judge w it is.

I feel that judgement is the way to never unload on anyone.  If I never judge, them then I won’t have any reason to say anything, bc I won’t see them in any bad light.  Also I never premeditate my boundaries.  I never fantasise about giving them what for, or anything.  When the fantasy crops up, I just quash it; I tell myself to lose the psychopathy.

In Other News

I feel Ima leave the business for a while.  I’ve noticed that I think about it somewhat, and just wanna have a time when I don’t.

Tbh I feel that landing pages are outdated.  W the introduction of AI, their format w surely change.  I hope to be that change.

I’m lucky that I have never learned how to do it properly, rejecting w I read on it.  This allows me to be a blank slate to experiment till I find the winning format; all the time, my smashing the ad leading me forwards, w confidence that Ima do this.

Tbh, I just included an image, bc I felt that my text w absolute garbage, to break up the gap.  I had put myself in there bc it is a part of the terms and conditions, and it needed something.  Tbh it looks good, the aesthetic working quite well.

It’s scary, hella scary that one day, Ima notice that my landing page also is hitting it out the park, I feel.

The problem w that, is it’s how I identify.  I see my self, one hundo, as a person w absolutely be killing this.  In fact, my self esteem comes from being that person.

Tbh honest, it’s just bog standard self esteem; everyone has it.  It’s just that my zhè is like smashing this.  Is that my subconscious telling me that it is wrong in some way; I feel that’s it.  Omg, so nailed it, that it’s wrong to be this person and to be doing all this, I feel.

That’s probably why I feel Ima die some of the time, feeling that I am bad for doing this and being me.

I’d concluded that I had been wrapped, suffocated as a child, I feel, and w reliving that, it, every time I felt that Ima die, bc I’m doing the exact thing that got me wrapped, feeling my feelings.

I figure that if my mom attacked me, for simply saying w joy that it w snowing, I feel, then it w probably the same thing, me feeling my emotions and self esteem that got me wrapped also.

I feel that is why Ima feel like Ima die, like several times a day, Ima go against the wrapping and relive it over and over again, in fear of punishment for just feeling feelings and being sociable.

To Going Against Evil Punishment

K