Hey

It’s one pm, I have my coffee

I started by telling myself, that I don’t need to k what reality is.

Like, there’s this thing in the mind of the anxious person; where they trying and trying to define w reality is; and by anxious person I mean me.

I’ve not done it for time, tho always struggle w it.

On the way home, I just let myself, just not think about anything, bc I didn’t need to work anything out.  It’s a part of like when I’m feeling pressured.  Ima say to myself that I don’t need to k anything.

The two come together, if I don’t need to stress w reality is.. then I don’t need to k what it is when I’m feeling anxious.

It’s that, being a new born baby thing again.  Ima sit there and k nothing; it’s incredibly relaxing.  No guilt, no confusion; and definitely no shame.

It stems from not judging.  It just erases that part of the mind that needs to k sh, yk.  All anxiety, I feel, is caused by needing to k something and needing it now.

The complete opposite is utter peace.

In Other News

I’ve been eating too much; I’m trying to cut down.  I feel so full up rn, it’s crazy.

Hopefully Ima not fit into my jacket, bc the amount of stuff in my gut.  Depression maybe bc of the weather.

And

I want to have another bash at, lowering my pills.  It’s supposed to be done in the spring, and I, want to take advantage of that.

There w this issue w me losing it, before I rly lost it.  I feel that it w the amount of CBD that I w smoking.  Ima not go there bc Ijdc rn.

The Business

Lovely Jubbly Metrics

It’s the same as when I hit gold w that ad.  I tried something, data came back instantly.  I tried something else, data came back instantly.  I tried something else.

I w be able to do that w the landing page.  This is just the best ever.  It is all I need, for things to work, I feel; tho not telling myself that they w.

I w so lucky.  I happened to be ringing them, and it all got sorted out; that’s bc Ima speak up for myself and just approach the subject of how do I make this work, it doesn’t seem to be rightatm.  Strings were pulled and here I am

That conversation w dope af.  It w rly hard work and very stressful; and very chill at the same time; two people just trying to do the best for each other; it w magic, and I w moved.

Like I said before; I had totally gotten away, w never worrying about the business.  I said to myself that Ima continue w that, bc it w working so well.  I’m literally shocked at w I w saying to myself there.

Back to being chill.  All the stress has just evaporated.  Idk where the hell it went.

And Then

There’s insulin resistance.  I feel that’s my problem atm.  Ik that, eating enough so that I don’t lose it when hungry isn’t gonna work, I feel.  I have to just maybe lose it a bit and do it on the regular and keep doing it, until the problem has sorted itself out a bit; c be talking complete sh there, Idk; we’ll see.

To Just Bopping Along Again

K