Hey

It’s two pm, I have my coffee

Zweebing

I w like to talk about zweebing.  Zweebing is kinda panic or paranoia; and worry.  It can also be frustration w emotional pain; over them.

This morning, I told myself that I w not upset w being upset.  This is bc of feeling attractive and therefore not feeling that it w anything to worry about.

I told myself to not zweeb at knit and natter.  Yes it w kinda unpleasant; entering that reality bc of feeling that people were being mean; tho I told myself not to zweeb it.

It worked well.  I still had a good time.  One thing that kept me afloat w feeling like I have a vocation.  It led me to believe that people w vocations don’t zweeb as much, w that always to feel good about.

I could have zweebed that they were just talking about me and trying to diss me.  I c have zweebed that I c have rly lost it and embarrassed myself, for example.

On the way home, I felt the zweeb creeping up on me, the closer I got to home.  I resisted the urge to zweeb, rly doubling down on it.

I w able to do this, bc I had learned the benefits of not zweebing.

Not zweebing keeps me in reality.  It prevents me from just getting upset.  On occasion it can also prevent me from feeling triggered in the first place.

I’m opening a breakfast shake, so that I don’t get triggered from being hungry.

I have noticed that I only need to have a little nibble, when my stomach starts to get acidic.  This should prevent me from having my clothes stop fitting.

Rly zweebing, w borne out of the noticing that I w doing it w the business, w w the first time that I stopped doing it, a few days ago.

Brain Mapping

I feel that the old brain-map for me w a complete zweeb; constant worrying and judging.  My whole mind devoted to zweebing and me not able to step out of it.  This w like six years ago.

Now I aim to never enter the zweeb at all; I feel that that w actually be kid reality at that point; w my whole brain map being non zweeb.  Ima not touch on that tho.

So, at knit and natter; I w able to feel attractive the whole time, due to not zweebing; then on my way home, I just reverted to healthy reality again.

Zweebing is dangerous; and I feel it pulled me into hallucinating.

I started to hallucinate, tho through not zweebing, I w able to tell myself, that the things I thought I w hearing, I wasn’t hearing; or just let go of zweebing over it.

To Not Zweebing

K