It’s five pm, I just got back, having nicotine
I thought up a funnel; three pages; Idk if it w work. I’m making a tweak to the landing page as well. I just gotta wait two more days, rly till I do anything; kinda
Eating less worked rly well; tho I gotta be careful, it kinda works too well.
I cornered in my trainers, someone mentioned that.
It’s getting easier to not zweeb. I kept control of my mind, when I w at the group I w just at. It w okay.
I wanna do voluntary work and say no to therapy; when I get the appointment. I rly wanna just get some kinda income and say no to all of it.
I’m mindful that the people I am fw atm, are the ones I need to be w. There are things that I must say no to, to stay on my path. It’s easy, I just don’t kinda engage; so far so good.
No flashy, swanky people.
I feel I need to get my goals in a row; like not hold space for somewhere to live, instead, focus my energy on just wanting the business to work
I must make sure that I don’t desire things that I can’t have atm; things that are just not relevant for rn. I don’t have that life yet and must not want things that w only come then.
It’s funny calling it that life, bc it is this life, just 2.0. Things w be one hundo the same.
I wanna stay at the Brando; it’s on my bucket list.
Like I have been saying, I must not zweeb if I want this to work. That’s why I’m doing nothing for two days, just tweaking the page.
Then like I say, I have a whole funnel in my arsenal. Idk whether it w see the light of day.
I like the way things are, just changing things bit by bit, every now and then when they are not working; it’s rly the only way to do it.
This may mean that I get to fifty quid ads, and then have to leave it for the rest of the month; frustrating, I guess.
That’s where this desire to work on it comes from. I must never do that, like I say. I have never done that so far and must not start. It’s absolute death to the business to over manage; to worry, to mollycoddle and smother it; yeeks.
Then there’s that I’m not allowed to look to see, if I have any income, till two days time. That’s frustrating also. Kinda telling myself that there won’t be, bc I have like too much of a trust builder that probably be putting everyone off, being kinda too honest about the.. not flaws tho unusual aspect of the product.
I must lean into selling that exact feature, make it fire, and then it may work.
Up late at night, doing this sh; probs tonight.
Ima be honest about w I like about all this. It’s the feeling. And like, did I catch myself moaning about it then, or feeling that way.
One, I don’t feel any kinda negative sh for the business; there’s just nothing there to be miffed about; at all. Two, it’s the feeling, yea; I do it for the way I feels, like I say. There is nothing else like it.
Even succeeding at it, the education way, doesn’t even feel nothing like this. I just couldn’t be that person, it’s not me; this is better.
And I guess that is where the dopeness comes from, that I felt made people kinda swoon bc of their lack of self esteem, I felt. It had nothing to do w J’s commandments, maybe.
That’s w has changed since I w younger. Also feel kinda senile, just thought I’d put that out there; could be lying, Idk; plug me into McCaffe and have it run anti viral.
Like I said yesterday; it’s the zweeb that makes me older; and yakking about how old I feel is just gonna make me look old too. Gotta lose this damn zweeb; and it takes years for any kinda meaningful psychological change. Exasperated, I move on.
To Perseverance
K
Miss K 