Hey

It’s one pm, coffee’s on.

I racked my brain for like five minutes, trying to remember w the drug dealer in Outer Banks, called rafe.  I got home and it hit me, Country Club.

F medication, it can wait; I’ve got more interesting things to do.

I thought I w gonna have a relapse.  I kept hallucinating, I feel.  I eventually accepted it and I w much more chill at that point.

I just emptied my mind all the way round Ferry Meadows.  I w walking in.. and I thought about judging someone, and I didn’t; and then I just felt these vibes, and I thought that had I judged, I w have missed them.

That w it, like I say, I just stayed open and felt everything.  It w good.

It felt like summer w w wac; like don’t these people even k the meaning of the word s.a.d.

I had mondo inspiration.  I held the landing page funnel.  It’s energy overwhelmed me and I ended up committing to running w it.  It w an easy play.

My aptitude for like conversions and clickthroughs, just comes from understanding w works.  It w fire and Ik it.

It’s funny how that kinda zhè, can literally come from a few seconds of holding an energy.  That’s all the power I need to stick w it.

This hiatus has given me time to hash the whole botch together.  I’ll need to apply for the other offers before it’s a go; I need my links.  It’s turning into one hell of a masterpiece; and there’s not one piece of it immortalised in my landing page yet.

And that’s w I’m comfortable w.  There is other sh that I need to be getting on w; the Tax application, and the passport; then when those are done, the work starts; hopefully getting completed before it arrives.

I feel the energy rn, it’s zesty.

Ferry Meadows

This is powerful.  Like, normally it’s my Mon club, that allows me to go the whole day w|o thinking.  This w Ferry Meadows that allowed me to do this.  This means that it is super healthy, and of as much benefit.

Which is good, bc I need to be doing things that are emotionally healthy, so I don’t feel lonely.

It c feel lonely, being dope; and I love having viewers that I get to share profound things w.

A Long Time Ago

I just wanted w such yearn.. to just be able to turn my mind off in the day; now I can.

I w only just thinking how far I’ve come, today.  Remembering, the f up state I used to frequent Ferry Meadows, just hoping to feel anything at all; to walk, cycle away just hurt at having felt nothing.  It brings a tear to my eye.

I just wanna thank J’s commandments for all of it; and I kinda wondered, w I always the f up one.  Is everyone else able to feel everything, and it w just me so damaged; am I just catching up w everyone, is all.

To Recovery

K

PS

I realise why I feel like Ima die all the time.  I feel it’s bc my mom suffocated me when I w a baby, to prevent me from feeling feelings.

Now w me smashing it out the park, I just feel that it w be the end of me; and it’s rly the punishment of my mom, trying to end the whole thing, I feel.

K