Hey

It’s about three thirty pm, I had coke about an hour ago.

I.. I had an experience.  It felt like I w leaving the reality of feeling that everyone w evil; like it w some kind of trauma in me or something, or better yet, just adult psychopathy, I feel.

I felt that on leaving that reality behind, I w just be a kid.  It seemed that all the dysfunction in my mind, w caused by believing in this reality, and that when it w gone, my mind w be like free; to feel whatever the f I wanted to feel.

It w quite profound and lovely; then I got hungry.

It’s kinda made me wonder about fasting and whether it w be supremely good for me.

Tbh, I don’t feel that there is anything holding me back, from this kid reality, bar what the bible warns about.  It honestly seemed that it w mine, should I continue w this.  I liked that a lot.

And it seemed that that w w made adults adults, being in that judgemental reality, and it shook me to the core; it felt so real.

I have to focus on my mental health.  I must make sure that I am able, to get to where I wanna be.

In Other News

I have ordered a bed, it’s coming today.

It’s relevant to say that, I w concerned that mine w squeaking too much for my neighbours downstairs.  I also reached a point where I just felt that mine w fall apart, I guess.

Also

I w wondering whether I w get government issued ID, for my VAT.  It requires hella ID, and that w probs mean that they give me a card for it.  I may take that to Instagram for proving my identity.

This w mean that I get to run ads much quicker and hopefully make some damn money.

So

I guess Ima just hang on in there, and become a kid; feeling that my body w revert totally to youth.

That used to be the focus to me, like wanting to be young; tho now it’s just wanting to be able to feel the feelings of youth, and the rest be a side effect.  Just so lit up, for feeling that that reality is mine, totally mine for continuing on this path.

It seems to me that all mental health stems from this adult psychopathy, I feel.  I should be so lucky to get shot of it.  I just feel that being a kid is the healthy choice, in a nutshell.

Ik what I said, adult psychopathy, and that means I have it, maybe, Idk how bad.  Well if I didn’t I w already be there.  It’s a bit of a shocker rly and Idc.

And

Still want to cut down on the food I’m eating.

I realised that it takes, super duper mental health, for me to not eat as much.  I c be in that reality where everyone feels evil, and just not care; just reject the f out of it.  That w allow me to just eat little until thin.  Looking forward to that one a lot, tho hoping to start limiting food much sooner than that.

To Kid Reality, And Mental Health

K