Hey

It’s two pm, I’m having coffee later

I have rly been leaning into not thinking.  It has helped me to not feel triggered today.  I feel that, being around people is a challenge and it keeps my head on.

I’ve also been feeling a lot of feelings; bc I forgot to take my medication yesterday, maybe.

W the business, I am erring towards getting my passport to run ads.  I have managed super well to not worry about it; another symptom of just not thinking.

I rly feel that I am getting to, into the reality I wanna be in.  I love following, going down this path, bc it takes me closer, month on month.

In Other News

I had been thinking about, taking less medication.  I feel I rly need to ask my psychiatrist if this is okay, Idk.  It is something that may happen soon.

This w allow me to feel more of my feelings, w w be good.  It allows me to be more in the consciousness that I want.

Had I rly not taken my pill; Idk how I coped so easily.  It w almost like it made it easier to deal.

This is a huge change from before, where I w challenged w feeling that people took the opportunity, to say things that Ima not deal w.  This time, yes, people were talking right to me, people that Idk, tho I dealt.

It feels like things have flipped one eighty, and that it is actually the way of, like I say, coping easier now.  I’m looking forward to seeing my psychiatrist; I hope that I remember to say that, or she gets like a feel for the truth of it, some other way.

All in all, it makes me feel so much more confident, for coming off the pills, where now they are more of a hindrance than a help, I feel.

And

It keeps so much painful, anxiety wreaking stuff just out of my head; and then I don’t have to feel upset.  I feel it’s the darkness of the things I’m thinking about, that is a challenge to deal.

I feel pretty confident that I have erased most of the brain map that is judgement; and that my body feels so much younger due to this.  It’s like it affects the way my body feels also, and It feels so young.

Maybe my hedgehog pathway is opening, so that these feelings a come through fully and Ima able to move my body the way I want.

I kinda do already; the way I zip across the road, and just being so in the moment that I’m just reacting to so many things at once.

I feel that youth is the next step, and I rly look forward to it.

I thought that I am attractive and want to lose that.  It’s a challenge w people showing that kind of interest in me.  I hope that I age backwards to a time before people looked at me that way.

To Presence

K