Hey

I’m due to have coffee in half an hour, it’s nine-ish.

So, I got the Tempura vegetables.  I w rly looking for the pots, tho they stopped that line.  It gives me something nice to have, sort of late.  Maybe w some kinda dip in a bottle type thing, Idk, gotta find out how to cook it.

I went for a walk; to Town and back; got just enough time, for the repair men; all the time feeling in my aura, or I’m nuts, I feel; other people’s perception of me.  One guy, I felt like Dracula w these huge collars, and wonder if he has been scaring himself w something like that; wonder about the things we fear; obviously they’re rational, tho irrational also.

The hallucinations, if that’s w they are, are nice now and seem to be encouraging me; it feels like the hate that I w feeling is gone.  W this hate w|i my own mind or w it coming from other people.

Leading To

I looked in the mirror.  I feel that I have.. not quite got young, tho stopped aging.  Ik w I w look like had I not followed J’s commandments, it’s the Crypt Keeper, to quite Jaimie Lee Curtice.

I have accepted w|i me that I am there; and how on Earth has it happened so quick.  The evil words that I have been hearing..  they have not been going on that long; and have not happened that much.  There has been a few occasions, Ima literally count them since last year.

Now I must, I feel, be very careful to keep this; just wondering if the pain is over; and then not caring bc it rly is worth it I feel.

Like I say, c these feelings be coming from w|i, of not liking myself.  Is w I project outwards, day in day out, kinda building up w|i me and then being released all in one go.  If it is being released then does it mean that it is gone.

I have a package to give to my neighbour, just need to wait till they are about.

I feel like I have a baby w|i me as well; feeling that that baby c actually be myself.  I feel like my body is creating something or renewing me.  It kinda blows my mind that my aging must have been stopped the very moment that I started following J’s commandments, bc of how behind my  looks are, stuck at forty six; kinda looking thirty, tbh; I feel.

I now sleep w my stuff; kinda makes me feel I’m doing it like a soldier, Imagining that if someone gets in they don’t want that thing next to them, I don’t want that thing next to me; tho if they, I, have time to get to it then they w use it.

And feeling like a shapeshifter to people who are insane w things they have done, appearing like those that haunt them.

Checked on the business; looking for a new direction to go in, tho holding that things probably need to stay the same and are working; rly would like something that checks both boxes.  Could changing the text rly be fire, it so could.

So the images are right; I’ll buy that.  The energy of it feels so on point, just like my ad when it hit.

Idk if I said this, tho I kinda feel that my psychiatrist has put me on placebo, at 1mg.  Yea.  I feel exactly like I did last time I w on it; w the hallucinations and people just, I feel, getting carried away w w they are, were saying when they were around me.  It seems to affect them just as much, hella weird.

To ShapeShifting

K