Hey
I have realised that anything going on w someone, w ever that is is their issue.
People get insecure a lot. That is there issue. Whatever is going on inside someone, that is there issue. That is the key to being free of whatever is going on inside other people.
Literally nothing they feel and nothing they think matters; at all.
This way Ima kinda disconnect myself to everything them. This means that I’m free from narcissistic supply. It doesn’t touch me.
I have also figured out how to be confident.
It is simply a case of valuing myself enough to just be confident. This is the thing w this town. If I’m, anyone, is not confident they w eat me alive.
This is where all the persecution has been coming from. I needed money in order to be confident. This allowed me the wherewithal to just allow myself this.
I realise tho that this is irrelavent to whether I should allow myself confidence.
These are two huge steps forward. I love myself so hard ngl.
You see, having never been taught anything from my A, and never learning how to stand up for myself, I w adrift completely. I had to learn all this sh for myself.
I have made great strides. What I am learning is how to value myself in practical way.
I had the k ing that I had the same value as everyone else for such a long time; tho I never k how to inforce it.
Now I do.
This allows me to enjoy my feelings. I feel now, unhindered by peoples’ devaluing of me.
Now I feel the beauty of this town, all of it.
I w f w puddles. They rly are super dope.
I saw this little girl sat in a puddle. Her mom w struggling w her. I said to her that puddles are amazing tho. She told me that she had stopped at every one.
I just feel, this has allowed me to feel like a kid again. Idk how this happened. Idk why I get to be a kid again and no one else does. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.
It w J commandments that did this for me. Truth.
This makes me feel super good inside; as Ik the truth of when J says that anyone who follows his commandments w k where they come from.
I always thought that this w be super dope; it is.
I am now not scared.
It’s nice being feeling like a child. Animals tend to get me when owners do not. Kids children tend to Idk how do I even explain it. What they feel it feels one hundo right to me, I feel it. It is adults who do not make sense, they don’t feel of anything. It’s kinda like they are not even there.
Instead they have this need to garner narcissistic supply, they try and suck the life out of me, bc they, to be real, do not have that life w|i them, that is what I am saying.
This is hard to deal w; tho it is w it is.
It feels lonely being like this. Who is gonna understand me, no adult that is for sure.
This is what I wanted. I just did. Ik that when I w a kid, I felt okay in myself. W c be w with wanting that; hell yea. Be careful w you w for.
It w be fine if everyone else w fine tho they are not. It is there issue tho it still affects me.
Empty people everywhere, it’s sad, I am sad. Ik the key tho they do not. This is a lot to carry, it weighs like a ton, Ima never put it down.
I’m lonely. Who do I fw. I’m still figuring that out. Ima just work one thing out at a time. It’s a good job I rly don’t k how to deal, bc I suppose I w be unable to accept that Idk sh.
I disconnect myself from w other people say. It is a them thing. This is the key to not being polluted by w they meant by that. This is the source of many triggers bc what they say is irrelavent whatever it w.
I finally k this. They just don’t matter. W they say it’s just a sound that they make.
This is w I’m @.
Still More To Learn
Kirsty
Miss K 