Hey

It’s two thirty pm, I’m having coffee soon

I’m well glad, that I’m not on less medication.  People are saying all kinds of whatever around me, and I have to deal.  Sometimes they are talking right to me.

I managed to get an emergency prescription, from the chemists.  I had to ring 111 first and get a assessment sent to them.  It took almost two hours.

I saw some people who I felt w ask me for money on the way back, so I went a different way.  It w a nice walk.

I’ve just taken my medication.  I’m so grateful for it; Idk how I c wanna be on less.

In Other News

I have to pause the business, bc my webshop is shut for maintenance.  Idk whether my ads w hit like before bc I’ve not written them in Title Case.  I mustn’t worry.

It w a lot of effort not judging people for the things they say.  It went on for the whole day, pretty much.

I have to, so that I don’t get upset.  There is fear there that they are being dangerously threatening.  I heard the word bullet three times.

I must remember that this is all happening for good reason.  It is bc I am following J’s commandments and levelling up, that they are saying these things, I feel.  I feel I get younger the more I deal.

I have faith in G that everything w be alright.  I may be the first to get through this process.  It’s clear to me that everyone judges, I feel, and that there is not another living person w w w to do this.  I wonder if it’s true that no one ever has.

All I ask is that the comments stop; that’s my goal of life.  I don’t want to have to deal w it anymore.

I feel I get younger tho, the more I follow this path.  That’s w I w.

I wonder if everyone is like this, saying w sounds like hateful things towards people when their back is turned.  It honestly feels like the whole town is two faced.  Idk.

I need to not judge them.  Maybe this w make them feel less alien.  I used to feel part of the world not separate from it.  I want to be back in it.

I just remember feeling left alone af.  I want that back.  I don’t want the attention, like I say.

I feel I w get to this point, on the other side of dealing w all this.  I must endeavour to keep my lips tightly pursed and not say anything to anyone.  I physically grip them together sometimes.

Idk if the hateful stuff is aimed at me.  The more I listen to it, the more human they sound; kinda.  Some of them, in fact a lot of them, are downright evil, I feel.  Idk tho, and Idc.  I just wanna be back in the reality I w in as a kid, where this sh wasn’t even on my radar.

That’s literally w I’m saying.  I want it to disappear out of my reality; and I have faith that that w happen.  That’s my goal, like I say.

Ima not call it evil tho.  J did.  I’m not qualified to, perchance to judge them; tho Ima not not call it evil either.

It is starting to feel more and more like judgement is sin, just like J said.

To Getting Past All This

K