Hey

It’s about twelve, Ima have coffee soon.

I went for another long walk.  For some reason, the vibes were coming through to me, like taking people for who they were.  I had missed this reality

And as I came back and having challenging thoughts; w it just that I w changing my activity that w bringing them in.  I realised that some people like being alone and others don’t, wondering if it w the thought that I w having that made the difference.

I thought to myself that it w do me just as much good as a club; it did, more so in fact; and I wondered should I work this into my routine.

I bought some sunscreen on the way back, that w super cheap, the spray 50 one that I like, and some pizza subs, or whatever they are called; throwing out some veg to make room.

I felt that my body w rejuvenating, low key.  The vibe that I had my final furlong on, c only reflect this.  My reality had cleared; more evidence that I may be on placebo.

My minds kinda washing, w the medication I just took; feels kinda like a bit of a fog, still on 1mg it feels like.

It’s gonna start raining, the sky has gone dark.  It’s good that I got back before that, this.  Expecting spots on the window any time soon.

These feels.. I guess it c not be good for me, not being able to feel them, or alternately how much good it w do me now w them in my reality.  Kinda makes me wonder if that’s why they call this sh black box, I feel.

Ima tidy my place.  The business needs it.  It helps me function the way I need to, around all that. It basically my superpower, my nitrous, my vibe generator.  Ima own that it all stems from there, I feel.

Coffee

I’ve waited around six hours.  This seems to be working much better for me, as the vibes I’ve felt, feeld

That w my main goal for fifteen years, to come off this sh.  I feel like I’ve made it as I don’t expect the step down from 1 to be anything at all.  That warmth, coming in from people, as I say, it’s there and.. Ima not feel so cold, and believe this whatever hallucinations.

In Other News

The business w have to wait a while, before I..  probably till I tidy up, tbh.

Just looking forward to more Twitch and Youtube; also catching up w Outer Banks bc of the upcoming season.

Just so liking having my feelings back.  There’s them being blocked due to low self esteem, and then there’s them being blocked bc of medication, I feel.  I’ve lost an unspecified personality disorder and Schizophrenia along the way.

To Mental Health

K