It’s one pm, I’ve had an energy drink
It w nice down Ferry Meadows, like yesterday. I decided to go down there instead of a long walk. Both w take me four hours.
I’ve installed a Google Tag on my page. This w allow me to see how many people click the Button. Hopefully it’s all working and in about a day and a half, metrics w start coming through.
In Other News
I found a new person to watch on Twitch, ProjectBRAiNROT. She has PTSD; like me, I feel. She may be live today.
She is younger than the other people I watch. It means less moaning, tho.. Idk how I vibe w it, her. I feel I like her just as much; in a different way.
When Twitch is on, it’s a rl treat.
I remember the days when Netflix w the only thing that made me feel sane. I w feel totally f out of my mind at all other times. I w sit down to Wednesday, knowing that it w feel like my sanity w come back.
I feel saner nowadays. Feeling out of my mind is rly not a challenge anymore. I do get triggered tho. It happened today. I’m not a fan of it.
Tho at the same time.. Ik that every time it happens, it leads me, is leading me, into the reality I want. Creeping creeping creeping, slowly into this reality, year by year; vibing more w dope af people on YouTube and Twitch, changing the very quality of my mind, and my ability to perceive stuff, yk.
So there’s that side to it, also. I wonder if I w ever like it. Idk.
I just took my pills.
I’m aware that someone regular, they w be pi off as f, when someone said what this guy said around me today, and all the other things that people say around me. That w hard for a hot minute. That’s not me tho. It’s letting go of the peer pressure to be bothered by it.
I choose to not judge.
Ik that say I thought all kinds of hate towards this person. I w calm down and realise that all the things I said were wrong. I feel that there is just no point saying it in the first place. It’s a total mash.
Just rly trusting the process.
Having lunch soon.
I wondered if I’m not doing enough drugs. I’ve cut down on coffee and don’t do Ginseng anymore; Idk. It w causing me to hallucinate, I feel.
Maybe Ima swap out a cup of coffee for something else, Idk.
I thought to myself that I never valued myself my whole life. I always felt low in value; and now I feel respect for myself and just aware that this is totally new to me.
To Valuing Myself
K
Miss K 