It’s one pm, I have my coffee
I’m feeling triggered, it’s private tho. I’m three for three.
I’m used to this, that people a say challenging things, yk, or do challenging stuff. It’s part and parcel of who I am; and it’s a necessary facet of having self esteem, that people kinda try and take advantage of it, I feel.
Ima take it easy, just relax and not clean my home too much. I may take the plastic to the shop. Like I have said, it’s important that I do that, bc it gives me the self esteem I need to run the business.
Rly all I need to do is deal.
Back from shop
I’ve had a sleep, and took it super easy bc I felt it a challenge to just deal
I’m watching Arysa614. She’s talking about something Ima not say here. Google is super duper strict on w Ima say, I feel.
It’s good actually that Ima not talk about this. I feel the biggest way for me to get taken advantage of, is to just even use one word in this genre.
Ima have coffee in an hour.
The thing is that it doesn’t bother me. Like I feel challenged w just the sh that is going on, and I’m like, bring it. 👏 it 👏 doesn’t bother me. I’ve felt this way for two days, that it shouldn’t.. I feel I’m there. It’s just taking one for the team.
Yes, there w an issue, and I got some support, tho I don’t want this stuff to stop happening. If it stops happening, then I am not me anymore, I have lost part of myself.
And I just noticed myself feeling more real, like even just a few hours after. It’s like it’s all on Nitro; bc I get f in the head, and like a few hours later it has an effect. I remember years straight that never seemed to do that.
And
It’s gotta have an effect on the business as well. Like all this f my head up, has to be having an effect on the business. Like it’s giving me everything I want out of life.
That’s like something that takes me a while to get my head around; like I totally get it now that all these challenging things that people be saying, it’s levelling me up every time. It’s a total mash.
Like, how Ima not be bothered by it; tho I’m not. Obs it’s a mash at the time, it is; tho looking back it doesn’t bother me on today.
And probs it’s gonna happen tomorrow. I’m not saying that what these people said, that it w something that w defo an attempt to f me up, I’m not saying that. I’m not saying that this will always bother me and I w never be able to deal.
For example, the posers. This used to be my biggest dread; like I w think, how somebody be moving their body in a way that I feel shows complete disregard to how others are feeling around them, and by others I mean me; it used to burn a hole in my empathy and leave me a charred wasteland for a long time.
Now I just feel a bit mashed and literally just get f over it; it’s the same for all this sh, I just f get over it.
To Getting Over It
K
Miss K 