Hey

It’s one pm, I’m having coffee

I just got back, did some shopping on the way.  I caught the bus, bc my leg is hurting and I want to keep it healthy.

I watched Aryssa 614 yesterday, and enjoyed it.  I missed about the first two to three hours, bc I watching an ASMR video, and fell asleep.

I’m having lunch soon.  Following J’s commandments is a challenge, bc of all the evil stuff that people say.  They have done so much for me tho that I’m hooked.  There is no denying how much they have changed me as a person; and the fact that Ima watch Aryssa and all the other content that I do, is testament to how well they work.

Like I said, yesterday, Idec about it.  It’s just something that I must experience; and tbh, it’s not rly that bad anymore as when I had schizophrenia.

What I said wasn’t true, I’m having lunch in an hour.

In Other News

Ima try and figure out my Google Tag.  I have just added a cookie consent banner, and Ima wait forty eight hours to see if any metrics come in; read the exact instructions on Hostinger to make sure that I haven’t neglected anything.

I had this feeling that this w my reality, that it w there just for me; and that it changed when I changed and when I levelled up, my reality just got dope, Idk.

My group is not on today, so Ima just chill.

A parcel just came, it’s clothes.  I love the stuff that’s on Shein; I feel good in it and comfortable.

There are two things happening atm.  One is like I said, the evil that people are saying.  The other is that like I said, my reality just seems to be changing and me entering like a reality that I like.

I w just weighing like the value of following J’s commandments; and it’s just such a carrot, the way my reality is becoming.  I feel helplessly drawn to just allow this reality to just become one hundo real.

I feel that it’s the utopia that I spoke of when I w young.  Oh, my; this is a lot.  I’ve just noticed, in this moment that it is coming, and I’m Idek how to frame it.

I’m crying.  This is totally the power of J’s commandments, I feel.  Now I feel that there is nothing that can hold me back.  It puts things in perspective.  I’m literally quaking at the power of G, I must not be afraid.

It minimises the challenges of rn.

That w a moment.  I continue w renewed faith.

I have a club tomorrow.  The leader is leaving after an hour, so we w play just the three of us, or whatever we work out.

I feel forgiven for all my sins, it’s a bizarre feeling.

Things w continue as they have, including the challenges, tho I feel they w be easier to cope w now.

I’m seriously asking myself how do I deal if I feel younger.  I must not misbehave.  I must not do or say anything that triggers older feeling people.

W J’s commandments, I feel that Ima be able to navigate the social world, the way that I have been doing for almost six years now.  They are very protective against me offending anyone, I feel.

Boundaries have become a theme lately.  I must be okay w sometimes saying no.  It is a word and it is there to be used, not judging the one whom I say no to.

It is already done, I said no, and that probs is an end to it.  There is nothing to be scared of.  Nothing happened when I said no, the sky didn’t fall, and I experienced a day like today, suggesting that tomorrow may be even better.

It never gets old how J’s commandments just keep on giving

To The Gift That Keeps On Giving

K