Hey

It’s half one, I’ve had Coke Zero

I’ve had to stop running the campaign, I’ve spent a lot on ads.  I’m trying to save up.  I’ve bought some clothes tho, a top and a dope suit.

I enjoyed my club.  I won a few games.  It made me feel super chill.  I thought Ima let other people take care of my problems.

The one thing Ima do is just deal.  To be okay w w happens on the daily.  That’s my superpower.  And I thought to myself, all that’s going on w me, is it inside me.  Is my mind still stuck in the judgement and worry brain gex.  Is all this that I’m feeling created by the part of my brain that I have been reducing in size for many years.

I am in a reality that I appreciate, for some of the time, and this gives me strength.  It allows me to deal, bc Ik that some of the time things feel dope.  It’s a time of feeling that life is for me not against me.  I feel supported, being able to have this reality.. it kinda feels like it backs me up, in feeling that things a be okay.

I am remembering Hannibal out of The A-Team, saying, he’s a rl sleaze.  He used to say this a lot.

More aware than ever that worrying or doing anything to combat people I feel are sleazy, puts me in danger of said sleaze, I feel.  I w horrified, mortified, just didn’t want to be on this planet anymore, when I realised that I felt it made them more eager.

Brings to mind this girl who had this man in a white van, chasing her the f through London, calling her all kinds of sh.  It looked like he w trying to bully her into sleeping w him.

When they stopped at the lights, she ripped his wing mirror off and this motorcycle guy, who had been filming it shouted, scum, at him.

In Other News

I’m thinking about doing another group, for people w similar issues to myself.  Just kinda feeling that it might help me psychologically in some way.  I’m up for therapy and I guess there must be work Ima do on myself or I wouldn’t have been put forward for it.

I have lots of groups that I do, so I wouldn’t want it to conflict w one of them tho.  Something I might drop into and have a look on Saturday.

Feeling that going to these groups heals me a lot.  I guess that for the first little while they didn’t do that much, Idk.  I seem to be healing faster atm.

On Insta

I’m hooked to posting ads, so I’ve made some posts, hoping that they go viral; kinda feeling that Ima get my ad on, by doing this for the next month.

Then there’s the website metrics for my landing page; gotta chase that and try to figure out w is going on there.

To Coping W F Up Sh

K