Hey

It’s one pm, I’m having coffee at six

A fight kinda broke out over me.  I say over me; I mean it w maybe not about me.  A similar thing happened yesterday w two people kinda going for each other.

In Other News

I see how following J’s commandments, leads to not being like paranoid that people are trying to rip apart anyone they can; like the theory that anyone who is upset is at risk of someone being mean just bc they are upset, in and of itself.  Sounds pretty horrific when put like that.

Like, looking back to the reality that I used to have; just not feeling singled out by anyone.  Yea I had like a little tiff w this or that person tho never feeling like in a reality where Ima watch my back so f hard, I feel.

I rly need to sit w it for a hot minute, bc I only just got back and it w a lot.

The awareness that people are only too happy to upset someone that they feel deserves it, I feel.

This is like a huge shocker for me.  That w the kind of fight I witnessed, two people I felt trying to upset each other; Idk, like were they trying to cause lasting psychological damage on each other, or were they just trying to stand up for themselves, and then forget it, no harm no foul, Idek; and I don’t wanna know.

Food

Had to forget having chow mien, chop suey.  I w not getting through my sandwich stuff fast enough; so a compromise.  I eat two sandwiches and have the chop suey part.  Got some garlic in the fridge that Ima use.

Had to scoff so much water today, it’s twenty seven, and in full sun; and a nice flask of chilled Coke Zero

I filled my water bottle up, w w so welcome.  It w chilled, eek.

I feel that people are only happy when I’m happy; like judgement is a two way street w me and whoever I’m around getting upset.  I feel I’ve noticed that this is not true for other people; they get upset and it doesn’t put anyone else in a bad mood.  Maybe they just judge w|o feeling upset, and therefore no one else does either.  It’s a mash.

I just wanna be chill as f; there I said it.  Just wanna watch Aryssa, Doll and Rin and feel relaxed.

Taking a break

Back after a sleep

I’ll be making my veggies.  I like the white pepper thing.  May even add some soy, sauce.

I just had an Amazon delivery.

It’s a challenge to get my veggies in.  I make sure that I do it before I fall asleep.  I w out like a light.

I got all my tasks done for that thing, that had a time limit on it.  It’s such a relief to have that out of the way; and I hadn’t done all the things that I needed, tho she told me that I had, so I let it go.

This gives me free and clear, to work on the business.  I told myself that I w not run like a ton of ads again.  I need to be able to live my life, get on w the things I enjoy.  There needs to be, what does it say in that film Trading Places, moderation.

I’m missing BRAiNROT, so need to watch that, while I’m making veggies w my headphones in.

Ima have myself a nice cup of coffee, and get myself into a nice vibe, I feel.

To Finding My Vibe

K