It’s one pm, I’m having coffee at five
I didn’t think all the way home. I do that sometimes, just have a break from it. Getting towards home, I kept the demons out of my head, then now, I have the feeling that I am good.
Just took my pills, still on the medication, kinda, if I rly am on placebo. I take lots of supplements.
We have had three rly nice days. Idk if it’s gonna cool down after this.
In Other News
I created a wireframe, for the landing page. It shows where to place images, there are a few, to break up the text. Idk what they w be, Ima ask 5.5. What I have learned is that they need to be in alignment w the image on my ad. Probs for the best results, Ima use the usual six to seven keyword image. W this w do, is it w give the images a consistent feel to them, w people w well a notice, I feel. Then there’s using the same person w is on the ad, w is totally possible.
I am challenged w feeling a little insecure around putting everything down on the page. It w mean that I have done it. Does that mean that I am skilled at that too. I may need to take a break, just to get used to the idea that when it’s done, everything w be set up and ready to go. I feel that the challenge is deeming myself to have enough value to have done it. I need to be in the zone for laying all that down on the page, and feel it’s very important that I am confident that Ima do it
Ik that I am in the right reality and Ik that when my body has gotten used to not being on the medication, that I w start feeling as chill as normal.
Today 2.0
I just danced to, 1999, Charlie XCX. It w full on. I used to only be able to do that w CBD; that’s w I thought as I got up, then thought Ima just try it and it w all there. Made me think how Ima heal, how it’s just this long list of milestones; and I thought to myself that there is no end to this healing journey.
Tbh I feel that being challenged w w people say w always be a recurring theme, and that’s okay. I feel Ik what’s going on here, that I am slowly entering heaven. I have been on this path for around six years and the whole time has just been healing healing healing, w has led me to believe that there is no end to this process, it kinda shakes me, eek.
I listened to Rin as well, RICHMAN, it kicks, BRAiNROT; tho I am not there to be fully able to appreciate it, and w heal to the point where I w be able to, hopefully. That’s goals; to be able to appreciate that music the same way that a young person does is blaze. I’m quaking in my boots rn at the power of J’s commandments. This has been my goal all along and that’s how I feel about it, I’m kinda in pieces just feeling the energy of w is going on.
Also
I need to ask Kodee whether Hostinger w allow me to copy my page and make it the pages of a single site. How Ima think about the business w w I have written above, like I feel I have the key to having the reality I want. I never wanted to be out of reality and always wanted to go back, I feel. I gotta stop this bc Ima go out of my mind. It’s like the rushes that I w feeling; when I breathed into them they took over my whole body and it looked like I w being inappropriate. I must, as profound as it is, just let it go. It’s literally like, youth again, so what, hopefully.
My focus has been being attractive for the last fair while; now it is to be young, that’s w I w. I officially change my raisons detré, my authentic identity. Gotta stop, gotta stop, gotta stop, this is too much.
Something normal, anything normal.. well I’m back doing my groups tomorrow. Gotta make sure that I don’t f any of this up. I must keep my mouth firmly clammed shut when I feel that people are saying sh. I must kinda just accept that it is actually worth it the way I am living my life, like a trade off or something.
To Things That Are Too Much
K
Miss K 