Hey

It’s one pm, I had Coke Zero

I w out today.  I sat outside and just felt the breeze and felt the feelings around me.  It is new to me, being able to do that.  I like it.

It has been a few days now, also w the challenges of feeling a kinda way.

It’s a challenge not knowing if it’s bc I’m on placebo that this is happening, tho this is for the best.  I feel Ima handle it.

I feel it may have been bc I’ve been challenged w a chemical lobotomy and have never learnt anything about people the whole time I have been on it.  Idk.  Ima not judge or worry at times when Ima feel these feelings.  It helps.  I feel confident that Ima not judge people and they a not judge me, it brings me comfort.

And to be real about it, these feelings are not that bad, bc Ima function and remember w Ima do at the time.

In Other News

I did a little more on the business, tho not today.  I found out how to change the title of my site, w w help stop people from bouncing; just working my way through the page one piece at a time.  I like that I don’t have to create a whole new site for it.  It’s just pick elements like text and image and drop them in and then kinda shuffle them around until it looks okay.

I need to learn how to create a bar that goes across the page, just something to separate the sections.

Like I said before, this is not my focus.  Goals is getting to where I used to be in my reality, w just feeling erm like not taking things the wrong way at all, if that is w is going on.  It stands to reason that that is a reality I like, bc of how it feels when that happens.  Idk how long it w take.

There’s a good proportion of the day where Ima feel everything w is good motivation.

Tbh this feels like a miracle.  I’m flabbergasted that it actually happened.  It makes me believe one hundo that things w be the way I want, tho the present is w I w and Ima like being in the right here right now.

I feel this is doable.  Just get through every day the same, and eventually I w be there.

Lunch soon.  I made sure that I never ate in the shop so that Ima use up w is at home.  It’s much better tasting as well.  Speaking of things that are much better tasting, the veg I got w super yummy; made into Katsu.

This is the life I choose, no question.  I don’t want the life I w have had, had I just sailed through my life w a regular job and regular people around me.  It made me change.  It made me not lose any of my feelings, and have awareness of the things people say around me.

I live for the now and the things that are going on every day.  I have groups where I spend time w people.

To The Now

K