Hey

It’s one pm, I had cola a little while ago.

I got back and w challenged w judging someone; kinda; wanted to stop, feel okay now.

Feel like the Mulberry extract is a hedgehog pathway stimulant.  It has the same effect on me as Ginseng, w is k for being one.  It’s something that Ima not describe w|o being inappropriate.

I went to class today and managed to keep my head screwed on; just kept to J’s commandments of not judge, rly.  I also owned that sometimes Idk what Ima hear.  I also w aware that there have been times now, where I w well have been challenged w losing it and remained totally okay; I suppose this helped me to stay calm.

Like I say tho, I said something derogatory about someone in my head and w challenged w feeling sorely disappointed by this.  Rushing to take my medication, feeling that I needed it.

So I suppose that, how I feel is in my hands.  Playing devils advocate, I carry on w the commandments and hey presto, like don’t get my head f up all the time w thinking that people are talking sh about me.  That’s not rly how I mean to say it.  It’s just the continuing of mental peace for longer, yk; and appreciating the people around me so much more.

This appears to be the start of, being able to stay at peace when feeling challenged w people saying evil sh; and the crazy thing is that Ima not even judge that they are not saying these things, and yet it still works.

In Other News

I’ve joined Croquet now.  I’ll have much more to do every week for the next four months.  This should have a big positive impact on my mental health; all goes towards being at peace for longer.  This is the thing, just stretching it out.

I am stable for longer, when going to my clubs.  This goes out of the window when my medication is reduced tho things appear to be pretty good atm.

I am challenged w having downright evil symptoms when that happens.

So, rly these commandments are definitely working, I feel; over the last six years or so.

Yaas

Rin is on later and I have missed her.  Hopefully I w be awake and able to enjoy.  I also feel that Aryssa has been missing in action also.  There’s been like this Con thing going on and she has probably been meeting a lot of people.

Rly what Ima say is, I feel there is light at the end of the tunnel and that I may be at peace; rly being aware of why I felt so settled when I w young; it’s the absence of all that mental bull sh that spoils every moment.

To Light At The End Of The Tunnel

K