Hey

It’s about two pm, Ima have cola at six

It happened again; not thinking.  It is something that I’ve revisited many times.  I w watching MariaBagatti.  I realised that I w not thinking and wondered if that’s how she does it; like be her.  I came to the conclusion that it is.  Fast forward to the next day, today.

I thought about how I feel better when I have something to do, and that not thinking is probably w does it.  I just wanted to keep all the stuff out of my head that bothers me, yk.  Actually it w like, the business.  I had been doing like one thing and then having a break and banning myself from thinking about it.  I had realised that that kept me calm under stress and thought Ima do this any time by just not thinking about things.

In Other News

I thought about being geeked as f on cola, and how I felt, more so than when I do other things, or at least the same; kinda made me wonder

I w on the bus, felt like a kid looking out of the window, ngl; feeling aware that the people behind me c see that and wondering how that came across; for a millisecond and then it evaporated like so much that I don’t have time for.

Thinking about two types of beauty.  Maria has one, Rin has another; they may be doing different things that are making them that way, I feel.  There is a difference there.  Rin talks about things that bother her and Maria just does different things.  It’s more like she is focussed on w she is doing, like w’s the next thing.

Aryssa comments on the unethical nature of things or the intricacies of ethics of w people on Twitch are doing; like Clav, like Andrew Tate.

I’ve swung 360, from feeling that to think about certain things, is intelligence; thoughts I feel I should never have been having; to just not touching it, for feeling that it is super unhealthy; aware that w I do w my mind is w makes me who I am.

What’s Your Pleasure, Mr Cotton; The Box – a line out of hell raiser, a film a watched when I w like a teen.  C I be in a box at the Tate, w just people watching me the whole time.  I suppose that w be a lot like Twitch.

I w thinking about the way people think and how it shapes their awareness, hallucinating the results; I felt challenged that it w starting to freak me out.  Like w thought patterns do they have, what is their consciousness.  This guy, did he hold on to the reality of being a kid all his life when things had moved the f on, did it make him look the way he did.  It w a f mash and I rly wanted those thoughts to not come back.

With the business; I have to create an image that has copy or negative space next to it; w is part of the image tho not part of the image; using AI to just add a bit on the side.  I w only use it for my Hero image and maybe one other.

To Shaping The Way I Think

K