It’s about one pm, Ima have Coffee in an hour
I had a bad experience in Boots The Chemist and felt super stressed out. I rang Samaritans to make sure that I didn’t start hallucinating people saying Ima die and just saying it over and over and over. I w gonna work on the business tho feel for my mental health I need a break.
I feel like Ima get on w the Mechanism section. I’d kinda come to feel that it’s the most challenging section of the Sales Page/Funnel; tho I feel Ima get on w it pretty good and so far it hadn’t been any issue. I w thinking that the Proof, Risk Reversal, and Call To Action w be just wrapping things up, I feel; tho I c be wrong and things do tend to go wrong all the time and need fixing.
I still feel right stressed, I feel it helped tho. I decided that I wasn’t gonna moan. I just said how things made me feel. I felt that the people around me were totally oblivious to how I w feeling, scared for my life; I w surprised that they never noticed that. I hope I never miss that in someone.
I also felt like I c feel my mom’s hand over my face and I w trying to fight her off; Idk if it’s real; tho I feel that I w never be able to ask her bc I feel that she gaslights whenever I hold her accountable. They used to do that to babies after the war; I guess to stop them crying, I feel the people in my knitting group told me. I w maybe hallucinating heavily tho so Idrk.
The good news is that Ima deal w this sh better, I feel. It’s relevant to say that the more I deal w, the more it feels that people say and therefore even more that I have to deal w and like it’s a cycle that just goes on and leads to hella stress I feel; tho like I say Ima deal w it more I feel.
I suppose that it comes to a point where nothing rly bothers me, when they have said all the things that felt horrendous and threatening as f and I dealt and just forget about it; letting people say whatever they want; expressing themselves. I don’t rly feel that theres that much to share, I just remember what my late friend said that people are happiest when they have a moan. I feel that they are feeling better while I feel worse; be that as it may.
I’m kinda scared to moan so keep it to how I feel. Ik tho that some people, I feel, can’t deal w that; a couple of times it has felt like they showed me pretty good.
I look at getting old and feel that that is something that I just don’t want. I weighed it, feeling this way when people speak and gradually getting used to it to be fair; and the physical things that come w age; feeling that I w hopefully not suffer that. Authentically, honestly Ik where I stand on that.
I guess that there w be times when I feel super duper stressed, I feel. I’m okay w that. This path has gotten me feeling younger and younger; like I just get what people are saying, youthful people, who it is a joy to be around. I put that down to following J’s commandments and just.. Idk, I just feel lucky to be able to vibe w it, them. I can’t imaging a world w|o them, I like who they are. Had I not been on this path, Idek who I w be around.
I guess through healing I have found safer people to be around, not just a better vibe tho people who feel like they w not take advantage of me, not to say that I may be let down at some point.
Lunch Time
I feel that I’ve come down from the trip earlier on, tho having this coffee may send me back there.
To Dealing W Stress
K
Miss K 