Hey

It’s one pm, Ima have coffee at six

I just kinda holded the energy of Idk.  There w lots of things that Idk.  That’s a way of keeping anxiety at bay for me.

I w in the shop; and I got the guy to get me two bags.  Long story short it’s okay to not know how to do something, I feel.  I thought that he had added it on, so when I payed it w cover it.  He called me back and I payed.  That is an anxiety killer right there, saying to myself that it’s okay to not know how to go about something, I feel.

Like there are all these thoughts that Ima not figure out, my mind trying to test me.  It feels like it is trying to make me out to be stupid and making sure that I’m not dumb.  I tell you who’s stupid, my mind is stupid, I feel.

It’s like the girl said on I Woke Up A Vampire, coming up with imaginary situations and how to solve them never ends well.

That w how I just thought to myself Idk and it just evaporated in a puff of smoke, like a menacing dragon that is a bit like the Wizard of Oz, all bark and no bite.

I have to cook dinner in about five minutes.

The Amazon lady came while I w cooking dinner.  I said to her, drop it at my door, I’m making dinner.  She said, it’s Amazon.  She dropped it at the door.  I didn’t open it.

I said to myself, maybe I w have forgotten to open the door if she had not said Amazon open the door; I let it go.  I have to wash up now.  I feel Ima put everything in together, or soak the pans and plate first, I feel.

I w thinking about the business.  I need my page to say something that satisfies the reader.  Idk if what I have w do that.  Ima read the whole of the chat, and see if something comes up that clears it up.  I must write down tho that I want to ask it that tho, before I do that.

I also want to ring a friend bc I never went to my group today.  The bus w very late and I went somewhere else instead.  I wasn’t there long before I had to some back.  I had my cola when I got to Town and walked back; shopping on the way.

I made sure that I didn’t worry about the business.  I feel I never have and I feel I have done well.  When I realised that I just gave up on worry about it, I feel.  I had made an ad that w fire, I feel

The hugs I got and the kisses from DarkLiteASMR did that also.  They made me feel that I didn’t have to worry and made me feel better about myself.  I feel the worry w keeping me down emotionally.  It may have come from abuse, Idk.  It w kinda negative self talk telling myself that I w a horrible person and needed to do better, I feel.

To Feeling Better About Myself

K