It’s two pm, Ima have Matcha and CBD at six
I wanna do like ten minutes of housework today, so that it brings me up to the amount I feel Ima do. Idk. I feel like tidying the kitchen. The worktops look a bit lacklustre.
I just rang the Samaritans. I feel Ima hold too much in. I feel tho it’s a mistake to share more than I’m comfortable sharing. I guess there’s a balance somewhere there. I feel better for sharing. Like I’ve said before, when I hold too much in, I feel that I hallucinate that Ima die. So it’s just preventing that from happening rly. Ima only take so much I am only human, I feel.
That’s a lesson that I’ve really learned this year. People have been sharing so much of w has been going on w them I just understand that it’s okay to have boundaries and get stuff out, I feel; that bc I care about myself it’s okay for me to look after myself physically and emotionally.
I see my psychiatrist soon so feel that I w tell her everything; that there’s no risk in that.
I feel scared a lot and just put it down to another peril; tho like I say I must take care of myself by sharing w is going on w me. It’s kinda just allowed me to have things in perspective. I guess life is tough sometimes and it is w it is.
When people share I feel it allows me to get to k them much better; whether they are online or my friends. Like I say, it rly has taught me how to value myself, I feel. I guess when Ima rly k them, Ima not put myself through something that they w just never want me to be dealing w; and also that, unfortunately people suffer things mostly that they are wholly, totally unable to do anything about.
In Other News
Ima get some of the ALDI Doctor Pepper. I remember liking it when I w a kid. It’s super cheap as is their cola. Ima hope that OhStella is on tonight. I feel that she may go live at 6pm EST, so that’s eleven, or Pacific
I feel bat sh crazy rn, tho sane at the same time. This has never happened before; except for like yesterday. I felt crazy as a cucumber and that that w totally normal. It w an odd feeling; me just making peace w my full on insanity, I felt.
Also.. I may be losing it. I felt like people were all like.. like the walls were closing in and people were just gonna start staring at me and gooning the f out. This happened before and I had a relapse. It just got worse and worse I feel until I broke. Ima not need that sh starting up again. I may need to stop the CBD. The thing is tho is that, caffeine is mondo bad for me also so it’s rly swings and roundabouts I feel.
To Sharing Tho Not Freaking
K
Miss K 