Hey

It’s about two pm, Ima have Matcha at three; maybe, maybe at four

I went to Mahjong.  I managed to keep my head straight all the games.  I got triple knitting at the end; w is worth one thousand.  I w fishing on it when we packed up.  I w just super chill.  I wasn’t worrying about which hand to play; like Ima keep two hands in my hand and play both until one becomes apparent, dominant.  Ima just not think about the game and just play w is in front of me; never looking at my hand trying to figure sh out.

I just remembered the film The Hot Girl.  She w like getting icies and got them for free.  I w wondering if someone w do that for me, never said I wasn’t super duper f up.

I remember when Aryssa said all these things that she has thought; they were bad; and then she asked everyone if they had thought exactly the same thing; and they said yes.  It w a super dope moment, bc I realised that no matter w goes on in my head, I’m just normal, I feel

In Other News

I decided to read through the chat on my 5.5.  I found out that, it w trying to keep the thread of w it w doing for me.  This hit hard, bc I then wondered if I just left it to w it w doing, w it just naturally finish the page; even w the exceptional Mechanism section; kinda.

That w the point that I stopped reading.  I felt so relaxed like I had just cracked w I w reading it for.  I just wanted to get some kinda clue about w I w doing.  I’d felt kinda lost since attempting the exceptional Mechanism; till now

I remember something I read somewhere; that American kids were taught that they were glorified Apes.  I wonder if they are taught that nowadays, in this climate of respect, compassion and never having bad self talk.  That w a bit outta left field.

Kinda felt a little brain fogged on the way back, tho got okay, when I got to mine, as is always the case; tho like I say, I made it right through Mahjong; almost bc I felt guilty about asking something of someone at the end.

And

I’ve realised that Idrlyk what’s going on in people heads; w comes as great relief.  I have learned that when I’m triggered I just look nervous; I suppose in a kinda cute way.  I had been scared that people felt that I w outta control when I felt that way, and hated me for it.  It sound bat sh crazy and probably is, I feel; w is why it comes as such a nice thing to learn.

It just came from paying attention to w people say.  I guess people w tell me how they feel if I just allow them.  I feel that’s pretty dope.

It’s like when people spill all the sh, as I walk past them, all the sh.  I have heard some pretty shocking things, in fact some downright evil things.  I remember feeling triggered af on hearing stuff like that, and felt that they had zero empathy for saying that in front of me and zero empathy for threatening to do something like that.  Now I just kinda feel that it’s good that Ik what is rly going on; yk.  They call us baddies for a reason, I feel.

To Being A Baddie

K