Hey

It’s about three pm, Ima have CBD any minute

Idek what is going on w me rn.  Ima hear people talking who aren’t probably talking.  The things they are saying, tho make such an amount of sense.  Idk if Ima lose my f mind, tho I’m not worrying about having CBD; tbh having caffeine c do as bad.

That’s not w Ima say tho.  It’s.. okay so this crazy thing happened.  I w @ the shop; and I felt like the guy w trying to make me nick something.  I had already bought it, bc I came in this morning, tho I had got it at the checkout.  That’s pretty much it rly, I just took it from one side, put it on the other and just when I w done I walked out; after drinking some water and looking at the time.  I had a smoke outside and no one came out for all Ik.

I felt like someone w super evil.  That they w have a go at me next week.  Idk why I felt they were so evil.  What does that say about me that Ima think about someone that they w just rip me a new one.  Why did I feel that everyone hated the f out of me.  It w like for following the commandments I felt that people felt, that I w doing the worst sh ever and w try to stop me by just ruining my life completely.  I took a hard look at myself.

Something made me just not clear my mind of all thoughts and forget about it.  I felt that w make me angry so I just set out to find out w I w end up thinking; that’s when I just looked on in horror as my mind told me that she w be verbally abusive, devaluing the f out of me; like I said it w almost like she w angry at my value.

Ik Ima not judge people that way; to do so is evil, I feel, hence w w I thinking it.  I w thinking it, thinking w the f am I thinking here.  When I got home all hell broke loose in my head.  C it be that these two days have just been too much.  It’s funny bc I feel that hearing things that people hate the f out of me is good for me; tbh later I felt like it must have been a compliment.  I do get those sometimes, like I’m super hot or something.

I felt like a total baddie not stealing from that store.  I guess it kinda made me all f up.  Like people were saying that they a put a gu in my hand and tell me to do it, I guess it w janking around w my morals.

It’s like this; I w not gonna worry about whether to tell the man or just pack.  So I cleared my mind and just carried on w it, being in the moment; then I started hearing all this sh like st it.  Ik that it’s best not to resist people in situations where I need their help, like I needed rly some kinda clue from him how to do this; and that’s how it played out, I feel.

It kinda made me feel so small, for thinking that if I were homeless no one w let me take some food to eat, it felt being that way once w like serious illness.  Is that why people get schizophrenia bc they are like that; is it inevitable in someone like that.

Then I heard people talking and thought to myself c someone tell their kid that they won’t be any kinda size and bc of that they not grow any; that being aggressive w people starts that growth off and it can be halted by a comment like that; I w clearly gonna start thinking some f up sh, I feel.

JF Hailey is now live.  I like the direction she has gone w all the supernatural stuff.

To Being A Stone Cold Baddie

K