It’s nearly one pm, Ima have coffee at six
I feel that people may be, being friendly on the way to town, tho I don’t like it. I feel upset even thinking about it; it feels like they are trying to use me.
So last night someone w burning rubbish I feel and I had to close my windows so my place w hot as f when I got up; bummer; and last night w the hottest night of the year.
I feel like such a cu. Is that why triggers are no bueno; bc they make me look the f at myself; like part of me doesn’t want to be someone different, bc that w be w happen when I bone up through all this. Another part of me just doesn’t want to get old. I w looking at old people today in Hampton and I just felt f off I don’t want that.
So rly it’s about just following these commandments and not even giving a f if they kill me. I felt I’d rather have a few years of being who I am than any time left of being a di
I hope that I’m antisocial as f; and that’s why I just feel that people who feel like the energy of just using me.. I feel scared as f that they are like dangerous or something, yk. I feel like it’s making me walk about just in fear that something is gonna happen.
Being honest I feel that my past is antisocial as f and that it made me this way. Idk why I w be reluctant, not wanting to change; the pain w be gone.
And that maybe people in Town are the friendliest people on Earth. Whoah that’s too much just not ready for that. These are all maybe’s tho and that is something that I don’t do. Things w unfold as they do.
It’s hard not to feel angry when everyone I walk past feels like a threat tho I just feel like I don’t wanna like hurt their feelings, yk; pretty much bc it w just backfire and ruin my day, I don’t feel I actually care.
That the anger just fuels me feeling unsafe, hell it makes me feel in danger as f, like watching my back like sh; it spirals and then I’m f, I feel.
I guess that’s where my relapse came from it w simply a spiral of being scared of people, I feel. It got to the point where I couldn’t even handle them looking at me. Ima not talk about this anymore it’s upsetting as f.
I just wanna watch Rin, tonight; and tomorrow night. She’s off after that for like a week and a half.
To.. Idek What The F This Is
K
Miss K 