It’s about six thirty, Ima have coffee rn, a smooth columbian.
Just waiting for that bubbling and fresh coffee
Maybe it w the coffee that made me delusional. I found myself feeling like everyone w talking about me this morning when I w in the mall. I kept saying like stop and no and, if you’re bullying me please stop. From w they were saying they were supporting me like no other and I just w left w the feeling that they were actually talking about me. I chose to not succumb, believe gaslighting I feel, that it w all in my head.
So, this might make me ill, tho boy it’s delicious
Rin is back and it has been a bit. She’s on in about ten minutes.
I keep thinking that people are talking about me. It started w w I felt w gooner central; people being lascivious about me and just going on about it. I then thought that everyone w talking about me; and maybe they were this morning; I feel they were; tho that doesn’t mean I have to feel that they are still doing it.
Delusional, my word of the day.
It started when this girl said something to me when I w on my way. There’s usually something that opens that bull sh to happening, and I feel that w it; then everyone starts saying their sh. I feel gaslit that, it isn’t happening, when I w at the mall and this n’a said something to me about people always moving away w is a common thing that they say, I feel.
That aside I have had to have a break from the business, no chance of doing that when I am risking hallucinations that are telling me that Ima die. Today I hallucinated bc I felt I c hear every word of w people were saying when I c barely hear them at all; that’s wac.
I told myself last night, that I may as well have CBD bc I may not be here much longer. These relapses suck as they rly can be life ending, I feel.
I wanted to do it last night after the break on Sunday, tho felt I had dealt w so much of w people were saying that it w risk me becoming ill; and today I w genuinely hallucinating, and rang my team.
I jumped as I got off the bus, to kinda be glad that all this w happening, after all the comments I felt I got this morning; and a girl said, gave another one a pu or something like that, gooner issues that Ima relate hella to, she looked about sixteen.
I remember telling my psychiatrist that I w not doing dr bc of my relapse experience; and that kinda made me stay away from it presently.
Yes, when I feel people are gooning I say, stop, or, no, or if you’re bullying me please stop. From their reaction I ascertained, felt that they were not actually meaning that in the way I felt, w w valuable information and then henceforth, going forward, decided to just allow them the rip, let it in, get f up, bc I had the foundation of knowing that it w all good, even if it f me up. I w trying to keep it out till then bc, Ik that one trigger led to another one and so an and so on until I had people w ASPD chiming in, I felt w the most abusive sh ever. I w love to say w he said tho don’t wanna break confidence.
To Getting Ripped Up And Knowing That It’s Not Malice
K
Miss K 