It’s about two pm, Ima have coffee at five
I put the phone down on the Doctor. Ima not go into it bc I’m not comfortable sharing like private conversations. I feel that I w just practising my boundaries and, I guess wasn’t very good at it, tho I did like I say, manage to say no.
I w feeling guilty as f, had I been rude, tho like I say
I realise that boundaries to begin w, w always go wrong I feel, tho that makes it especially important to take that first step
I didn’t want the annual health check. I had visions of being put on Statins, so I feel this w a good start.
Two boys were rude to me on there way down here, I feel. I feel that they had taken me for Idek what, like I put my fingers in my ears bc one of them w dragging a spade and I feel that one of them took it the wrong way.
Just Got Back
It’s about half four, having coffee in about ten minutes
Croquet went well. I honestly feel like, I don’t need my medication. I got back after having forgotten to take it and I w alright the whole time I w there. Maybe I’m on placebo after all. I stopped taking the Mulberry capsules and I feel that they masked me from realising that I actually feel all my feelings now; w is w happens when I’m totally off it. Idk. The look in my psychiatrist’s eye when I said, placebo.
Like it’s totally legit, I feel; that they are able to do that when there is addiction and she said that I’m psychologically addicted to it, them.
I had to order another jacket bc mine from shein just let the water in a bit. It is coming in a few days. It w do me for when it’s not that cold. Ima be able to get a fleece under it, maybe a Thermoball.
Ik I’ve lost weight, w the goal of goals. My upper body is probably more streamlined. My legs have gotten longer and my body shorter, w w something that I just obsesses about for so long, and it happened, w is dope as f.
I feel that Trans Doctors talk more sh than a mushroom farmer. For example, saying that there are not skeletal changes, and that it’s, remarkably safe.
So my coffee’s on tho, it’s in this expresso thingy that takes hella time and then suddenly is done and has to be taken off bc it’s not used dry, w is f bc how the f Ima k when it’s done.
I’m paranoid; it’s true. These delusions that I’ve somehow offended G are bull sh; and this fear that people are so evil bc they get triggered and may think that I’m worthless bc of being upset and everyone gets offended and bullies me bc of it, in this Devil’s Advocate scenario. Yes I’m crackers okay; or am I.
Yk it’s no good getting offended at people when they are triggered; even tho they are bullying me. They took something the wrong way, I feel, and that is something that Ima empathise w.
These lads who bullied me, did seem bat sh crazy. I thought the younger generation of this town is even more evil than the grumpy old ba who are moaning for Britain when they are only in their thirties, I felt.
And what about posers on the bus. How a someone be so f toxic, I feel, that their bull sh head movements always darting from object to object never looking at anything a rip me to sh. They have f me up w|o even saying one f word so how toxic is that I feel.
Coffee’s done; this Columbian is so f lit, no lie. ALDI. Quick puff of my Doobazhèsréé.
It’s thundering again; wonder if it’s gonna be like it w last night. Rly should have unplugged my tv.
I smashed it like f at croquet. I hit three jump shots and won the match. It w f like some kinda french patisserie; quietly saying, that w exhilarating at the end of the match, I feel
Hopefully Ima double down on the business w the Mulberry out of the way. Caution tho bc of feeling so sure that I’m on placebo. Take it steady get back into the quarter of an hour thing and get that sh done.
I managed to spit out the Proof section from 5.5. It’s w she w lock in; then Ima find the reviews that best fit the journey we want to take the customer on, from the problem, through maybe w Ima do isn’t working, to the emotions of having solved the problem, for good.
It tells me that it’s probably an exceptional funnel. I’m so f stoked for this sh; especially on the caffein that I just had. I remember dear Aryssa, saying how when she w studying Coding, and right at the end when she got it, it w like the biggest rush of all time. G she hated the f out of that sh, game; what a turnaround. Me is like super different tho, bc I have always loved this w a fiery passion. Yes it ripped the f out of me infinite times tho I just liked it. That’s why I do the quarter of an hour thing, two minutes every quarter of an hour; gives me time to calm the f down and not lose it. It’s like an infinite string of no’s, w|o a gap I feel that sh w build up.
To Passion
K
Miss K 