It’s eleven am, Ima have a nice Colombian at four
So one of my reviews got lost. Hopefully at least Ima ask which list of reviews it came from; then Ima hand ball that son of a bitch out of one of those lists.
Also
Must find out if Ima use a controller for fort; rly wanna play w Rin.
Suns out and the vibes are pretty good; feels like a tourist spot. It’s nice here w the lakes and sh.
So I kinda wondered how powerful an iPhone is compared to a regular desktop. It’s all about graphics. On Aryssa’s rig, it’s just amazing; like there is a setting for hella graphics.
Later
All hell broke loose
I felt that I w gonna get ra; then I felt like a pa woman pushed past me at the checkout and threatened me w a gunshot wound. Tonight I find that I left my bottle at the checkout. When I put it down it didn’t feel right bc it w hiding behind my basket; now Ik why.
I w talking to a girl at B&Q, bc I just needed to talk to someone after feeling scared for my life when this guy w making all kinds of sexual comments about me.
I spoke to Samaritans when I got back; I even felt like it wouldn’t do any good and that I w get hallucinations that Ima die anyways; it didn’t happen tho I just fell asleep, Idek how.
What’s coming to mind is this video I saw on Tumblr. This hot girl has this old woman threatening her. Like she just w going on for like five minutes and then started putting her hands on her. The hot girl kicked her ass and the police were called and the old woman got took away I felt; wondering about being hot and does this kinda sh happen. It’s rly just all the crazy sh Ima deal w since having a glow up. It feels like every day there is some stupid bull sh that Ima deal w.
Ima keep the goal in mind of resetting my mind to a one hundo youthful consciousness. I already feel vibes that are close.
I remember the days when I said to myself, how bad is this sh gonna get, am I a wind up dead; close I feel I got Anthrax. I rly feel that so long as all this sh is happening all is going to plan. It w a lot, as per usual unfortunately. I’m cortisol maxing a bit.
Got a group on Mon and have to mention, thank you, for Thursday bc Idk whether I said thank y you when I got out of the car. I couldn’t ring bc I feel that he’s been telling me how crippled he is and I didn’t want him to get up to get the phone.
The girl I spoke to w like twenty; maybe nineteen. I w shocked how much I vibed w her and how we were talking about how older people we feel just don’t get it. I feel I don’t have anyone to talk to about this sh yk; it w nice to speak to her; just for that brief moment. Easy to see how it’s easy to give up on this sh, how no one has become young again since J gave his commandments two thousand years ago. It kinda wigged me out how right they are and how did he even k all this, I feel.
Just a day in the life; holy sh I feel that this is all stressful. I feel rly that my focus has rly to be nothing more than just getting through all this.
The pain of cortisol is super unpleasant I feel. I feel that schizophrenia is an illness of cortisol not dopamine and feel that antipsychotics are just a chemical lobotomy. I used to wanna develop antipsychotics in the lab. Now I feel that they are evil. I feel that they actually gave me my schizophrenia and that they are just given to patients so that they a deal w them; like they feel that they are getting uppity for being through all the horrendous sh they have been through and being a little ticked off w the way that they feel the healthcare system tends to treat them. That c be a little closer to the truth than I am comfortable w; bc feeling indignated w their treatment one hundo w be cured by making them temporarily psychopathic, I feel; only problem is that most likely they w be stuck on it for life; that’s a level of tragedy that Ima struggle to get my head around, I feel.
To Surviving
K
Miss K 