It’s about two am, Ima have coffee at five
The AI I am using Ima kinda struggle w. It is doing the marking up of the reviews different every time. Ima bring this issue to 5.5 every time it happens and hopefully we a work something out. It’s something that Ima need a rest from quite a lot, bc it’s when things don’t work that I get stressed I feel.
I feel that shame has gotten into my circuitry and that my wiring is all wrong; like every time I am figuring something out, that shame wiring is right at the core. It brings in emotional pain and allows me to stress over things that I shouldn’t care about, just like I feel psychopathy does. I feel that I am not respecting myself so I want to figure it out. Ik that it takes hella time to sort my wiring out and am not holding my breath on this; maybe take like a year to hopefully make some headway on this.
Ima get myself some breakfast cereal, I’m feeling cold; that’s when I usually eat, bc Ik that my energy levels are low. Ima have to make sure that I bring myself some munchies around w me when I am out so that Ima do this. I have found some cereal bars that I like, that w do nicely for this. They are strawberry ones w squishy strawberry jam in the middle.
Tbh, the Proof section is taking as long as the mechanism section did, w is highly complex. I’ve told people this and I feel that they feel that I’m putting myself down, when I say that anything can go wrong at any time. I feel these are just the facts and they have nothing to do w my self esteem; how does it have any impact on my value. Okay so it does have an impact on my value and is super important. By not wigging out when something does wrong, I keep my value and my self esteem, and that the only way Ima do that is by never telling myself that things are gonna work and not go wrong.
Some dip sh, I feel, w yanking his car from left to right as he drove down the road towards me. I feel it’s bc I dared to walk on the road bc cars were parked on the side. It feels like people be doing more and more f up sh; like I get over one set of triggers and then a whole host of other well worser sh begins to happen and is locked in for all time; great, now I have this new pile of steaming dog sh to deal w; tho when I walked to the shop I w able to not judge people that they w take the advantage to garner, get narcissistic supply off of me in my slightly triggered state. Nothing actually happened, w I feel w super lucky bc I’ve learned that there are not only rude people in ALDI tho bottom feeders, I feel, giving it large; and who do they always pick on; the one w the highest value in there. I’m seriously concerned that someone w say something and someone is gonna wa them; I’m pi myself just thinking about it.
Tho
I had a judgmental thought about someone, and a voice in my head said how dare you; honestly like how dare I think something like that about them; just the same as if I thought that thought about myself; and then it lends itself to that there is no difference on whether I judge someone else or I judge myself, it’s the same amount of evil, hurtfulness and general degeneracy; it’s quite a mash.
To Bottom Feeders Giving It Large
K
